Monday, February 07, 2005

The Singular Sensation

Last Friday, I visited the store of a digital printer for posters and tarpaulin for our upcoming exhbit. The owner, whom I have never met before, greeted me. After we had exchanged a few pleastantries, she then proceeds to ask me, "May asawa ka na ba?" To which I replied, "Wala pa."

"Aaaaah," she said, giving me a sympathetic look. Like my singular status was something to be pitied.

The aaaaah I can understand. It's a conversation filler for most of us. But the sympathetic look, I just don't get. Is there something fundamentally wrong with still being single at my age? Okay let me rephrase that. Is there something fundamentally wrong with still being a single woman at my age? When 30 something men say that they're still single, most people's reaction would be - that's okay, lalaki ka naman eh. But women get THE sympathetic look, plus a few offers to be set up with their lola's ninang's son in law's sister's bestfriend. In our society, it's almost a sin for a woman to be in her late 20s and still be single.

And while we're at it, isn't it taboo to ask people you have just met whether they're single or married? Isn't there a rule for that in Emily Post's etiquette book? I find it amazing that friends of my parents think it's normal to ask me about marriage plans. Hello!! And when I tell them that there are no marriage plans yet, they sit me down and lecture me about the biological clock and other consequences of getting married late. One of my parents' friends even went to our office in Bulacan to lecture me - for two hours- on why I should get married ASAP. ASAP as in this year. As in, within the next six months.

So I nodded, and listened, and nodded some more. I think that was when I nearly perfected the art of pretending-but-not-really listening. :)

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