Before I gave birth to baby M, now known as Margaux Francine, one of the things that I was determined to do was to purely breastfeed her.
Which is why I was pleasantly surprised to know about Cardinal Santos's strict policy on breastfeeding. When I gave birth to Chloe years ago, they already had breastfeeding posters and flyers posted in the labor room and nursery. But, if the mom is unavailable or prefers not to breastfeed, they automatically gave the babies formula or glucose water. Now, their policy is, unless there is a medical reason not to, moms are highly encouraged to breastfeed their babies as soon as possible. Two hours after I gave birth, I was gently woken up by the nurse who brought Margaux to me for latching. Five hours after I gave birth, still groggy from exhaustion and medications, I was wheeled into their breastfeeding room to feed Margaux. I didn't mind though. It was one of those things that I had mentally prepared myself for.
Unfortunately, not all moms are as prepared as I was. It was on my third feeding session that I met E, a second time mom but a first time breastfeeder. Everytime her newborn baby would latch, E would break out into a sweat from the pain. She would wince and cry out a bit. She couldn't understand why breastfeeding was painful, she told me. Nurses told her her baby was latching well. Maybe it's because she doesn't have milk, she reasoned out. The junior nurses could only look on as she muffled her shrieks with EACH breastfeeding session. And everytime I'd go into the breastfeeding room, she'd be there sitting on the same chair, confiding that she has been there almost the whole day.
She asked the head nurse for a break from breastfeeding, so that her sore nipples can rest. The nurses wouldn't let her, she said. On the day she was discharged, I couldn't help but overhear her conversation with her pedia. The pedia gave her the go signal to rest from breastfeeding and to give her baby glucose water. Once her pedia left, the head nurse came out and discussed with her the benefits of breastfeeding and how to go about it.
Head nurse (HN) goes on and on about the advantages, which, I'm sure, E already knows. E nods her head and keeps silent the whole time. When the nurse was finished with her lecture, E finally spoke up and asked for glucose water (she was wary about making her own glucose water so she wanted to get some from the nursery instead).
HN's face immediately changes. From her ultra positive stance on breastfeeding just seconds ago, her eyebrows were now furrowed, almost like she was quietly tsk-tsking E for her glucose water request.
This isn't verbatim, but their conversation more or less sounded like this:
HN: Ma'm, ang breastfeeding talaga is the best for baby. Wala po talagang makakalamang sa gatas ng ina.
E: Oo, magbe breastfeed naman ako eh. Pero papahinga lang ako sandali kasi masakit na talaga.
HN: Pero kasi talagang walang makakatalo sa gatas ng ina, ma'm.
And then she goes on to repeat the lecture she gave a few minutes ago.
E: Pero kukuha lang ako ng glucose water, konti lang, break lang sandali, then mag feed ako ulit.
Listening in on their conversation, it seemed to me that no one was really listening to each other. Both just wanted to say what they wanted to say, without really hearing what the other person is saying. The nurse wasn't addressing the mom's pain issues, and the mom wasn't listening na din to what the nurse was saying. It made me wonder too, if the head nurse really breastfed her baby, or she's just lecturing what the DOH has required them to say.
I'm not sure how their conversation ended. But minutes later, when E left the room, the head nurse described E as "makulit kasi nag-iinsist ng glucose water eh breastfeeding talaga dapat."
It is situations like these that would really discourage first time moms (and bfeeders) to give up altogether. I believe all moms have the best intentions for their little ones when they're just starting to breastfeed. I believe most moms read up / research on breastfeeding to prepare themselves for things like sore nipples, frequent feedings, mastitis, milk output, etc. But to me, no amount of reading can prepare you for them. One wouldn't understand sore nipples unless she has felt the toe curling pain of baby latching on for the first few days. One wouldn't understand frequent feedings unless she has been woken up by loud, hungry cries every five to ten minutes. One wouldn't understand concerns on milk output unless she has pumped out milk that amounted only to less than an ounce. One wouldn't understand rock hard breasts unless she has felt the rock hard, painful lumps herself.
And then one day, the pain from sore nipples becomes unbearable. Or maybe they get depressed with their pumped out milk volume. Or they are so overcome with exhaustion that they just think,
what the heck, I was formula fed, and I turned out okay. And they just stop.
I applaud Cardinal Santos' strict policy on breastfeeding. But maybe, a little more empathy on the nurses' side will work wonders. It's hard enough going through the first few days of breastfeeding, given the hospital's strict breastfeeding policy. But it's even harder to know that the people who are supposed to be encouraging and teaching first time moms about breastfeeding are passing judgements just because you want a 'break' from bfeeding.
