Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Nostalgic

Got caught in the after school traffic in ICA-Xavier area a while ago. I stared outside the car window and looked at the students passing us by. Couldn't help but feel nostalgic about high school. That was ten years ago. Was never really obsessed with topping the class and getting good grades. Back then, my major issues in life were:

1. To be in the same class with my bestfriends.
2. To be in the same class with my crush(es).
3. To have the cutest school supplies (cutest notebooks, cutest bags etc.)
4. To not miss a deadline for submission of anything.
5. To avoid being the topic of gossip for whatever reasons.

Life was really so simple back then. Topics of conversations with friends revolved around what course to take in college, the latest couples hooking up / breaking up, who the cutest guys, girls and couples in school were, which teacher we liked and disliked.... aaaah, those were really the days. Dresses for the prom, courses to take in college, dreams and ambitions in life -- those were the major choices we had to make.

During my highschool days though, I couldn't wait to go to college. And when I stepped into college, I couldn't wait to start working. I couldn't wait to start slaving my ass off for the corporate world, wear my corporate attires, and project my corporate self.

And now that I'm working for our family business, I couldn't help but wish I am back in school, worrying about crushes and prom dresses again. Sigh. I'm really, REALLY old.

I really miss those happy, carefree days. It's the lack of responsibility that I miss the most. Back then, if I made a terrible mistake, it would probably affect only myself. But working for our family business is a different matter altogether. There's my dad, who, I know, expects a lot from the business. There are the employees relying on the company for their monthly household expenses. I'm not only answerable to myself, I'm answerable to everybody in the company. That's what I feel most of the time.

I wish I made more mistakes back in highschool. Yup, that's right -- more mistakes. I was so scared to fail that I ended up not trying anything at all. I remember how much I wanted to join our school's newspapers, if only because I wanted to live Elizabeth Wakefield's lifestyle. (Sweet Valley High's avid readers would know what I'm talking about) But I didn't join because I didn't want people criticizing my articles. I wanted to join our choir too. As an organist, if there is such a word (meron ba?). I auditioned for the position, even though I couldn't read the notes. I knew the chords but couldn't read notes. So I played it by ear. And ended up making some mistakes. The choir's head teacher was surprised to learn that I couldn't read the notes. I thought she was ridiculing me. That ended my dreams of being a part of the choir.

Three years from now, when I look back to where I am right now, I don't want to still be typing my wishes and regrets for this year. I want to be able to look back and say, "Did I really do that?" or "Yay! I really did it!"

**Note: Lame as it may seem, the Bohol trip is one of those yay-I-did-it moments for me. :D I've always wanted to travel with friends. That was my first time, on a plane, with friends.**end of note

This year, I really, really, really want to:

Start my food biz with Liza
The eternal pessimist that I am, I have readied myself for the fact that yes, our biz might fail. But I just want to try it and see.

Travel out of the country with friends
Having my parents voluntarily sponsor me for this wish would mean so much to me. Now, all I have to do is teach my parents to bloghop, and voila! Accidentally come across my blog.

Bake like I've never baked before. Cook like no one's going to eat it.
Well, you get the point. At least, I hope you do.

Make a really big contribution to humanity.
Now this is difficult. First, I don't have any idea what it is exactly that I want to do. I don't think giving alms is a contribution to humanity. Years ago, Val and I had this wonderful idea of how to do it. We never got around to going ahead with it though. Second, I think "a really big contribution to humanity" would take more than six months to prepare. Unless, I have a big stash of cold cash hidden somewhere which I can just donate easily ASAP. But I don't.

Help PAWS reduce incidence of animal cruelty."
This is something I feel strongly about. Animals are helpless against humans. They don't have the equipment to fight back. They don't have agencies to report cruel treatments against them. We do.

Learn the art of small talk.
Very important. Solves a lot of things.

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