The Married Life

It has always been my practice that before I make any major decisions, I ask people who have experienced it or are going through it to give me feedbacks on the pros and cons of whatever decision it is that they made.

Our upcoming wedding is no different.

I have asked lots of couples this question -- "How is married life?"

And I have noticed a trend in their answers.

The newly-married couples would say the following:

"Super sarap."
"Super saya."
"Okay siya, parang bf-gf pero living under one roof."

Those who have been married for quite some time now would say:

"Wala... masayang mahirap."
"Hay... mahirap. Kaya ikaw, enjoy mo na pagiging single."
"Mahirap."

Okay, why the BIG difference in their answers?

For the newlyweds, the sex life could be one. Hehehehe.

For the not so newlyweds, I'm thinking, children could be one reason. Financial problems is another possibility to consider. In-laws, growing apart, lack of spontaneity... all these could be possible reasons to consider why those who have been married for ten years have a different take on marriage than those who have been married for less than two years.

Liza told me that during this year's highschool graduation ceremonies (in our alma mater), almost 50% of the students' parents were separated. GASP! Samantalang back during our time, you could count with one hand the number of parents separated. Yikes. So ten years from now, the percentage of separated parents would go higher or lower? Whoa. Really, really made me think there.

Made me think of my parents' marriage. My parents will never win an award for being the sweetest couple. They don't snuggle up to each other, or rub each other's backs. But my dad will call my mom in the middle of the day to ask her what she wants to eat. Then he will buy whatever it is that my mom wants, even if the place is several kilometers out of his way. Or when my mom falls asleep while watching tv, my dad gently nudges her to wake her up so she can wash her face and prepare for bed. For several years, these were the things I saw. So it came as a shock to me that other couples are having a difficult time just being around each other that they feel they have to anull their marriage.

When I hear about separated couples, the first question I think of is -- were they not in love when they got married? When you hear about their fights and the reasons behind them, it's quite difficult to picture how things must have been like during the beginning of their relationship. Which is the scary part. Because there really is no assurance that a marriage will work, no matter how sweet the couple was initially during the kilig phase of courtship.

So now I have newfound respect for old couples walking near Baywalk, HHWW pa (holding hands while walking). I can only hope that when Mike and I are old and gray, the younger couples will point at us and say, "That's how we want to be when we grow old."