On friendships

Just one of the bonding conversations I had with Val last week:

V: Kakasal na si (name of her highschool friend). Malapit ko na siyang di makita.
me: Bakit naman?
V: Eh kakasal na siya eh.
(Both of us are silent for a while.)

me: Pag kinasal na ako, magkikita pa din tayo.
V: Sinabi mo yan ah.
me: Oo! Basta wag lang yung tipong nilalagnat na anak ko, tapos gimik gimik pa din ako.

And I really meant it from the bottom of my heart. Naks!

Seriously, I find it sad that in our society, once a woman gets married, she is expected to give up the fun aspects of her single life, including friends. How many times have I heard the adults say this, "Yan..magpakasaya ka na ngayon habang wala ka pang asawa. Kasi pag may asawa, iba na ang buhay." Is marriage supposed to be some sort of sacrifice? How come it sounds like I have to give up the fun things from my single life?

As most of you know by now, friendships aren't that simple. As with other types of relationships, it takes a certain amount of compatibility, chemistry and trust for us to be able to call someone as our friend. And just like other types of relationships, time and effort need to be invested in friendships in order for it to grow. It takes me months to accept someone as my friend, and years to label someone as my bestfriend.

Which is why the idea of having to give up my personal time with friends once I'm married is something I do not think I can do. I have a highschool buddy who did exactly that. I resented her hubby for a while, but I resented her actions (or inactions) even more. And I swore to myself that I will never, ever drop my friends after I get married.

Fortunately, I have a very understanding hubby-to-be, who gives me all the space I need. :)