I received a phone call on my Sun number a while ago, while I was in a business meeting. I saw the name of the caller and automatically pressed the "receive" button, immediately regretting it as soon as the name of the caller hit me. It's THE friend. Aaargh. Fortunately for me, he hung up as soon as I pressed the button. Whew!
Okay... who is this person and why am I running away from him?
A (THE friend) and I have known each other for almost 17 years now. We were still in grade school then, and he had a crush on me for years. It wasn't until the last year of our high school year that we got to know each other better. He was there for me when I had my first heartbreak, and was part of my 18 roses when I celebrated my debut. I was there for him with each new girl he courted, giving him tips on how to woo them over. Was also there for him at his lowest moments, when no one believed in his credibility anymore.
So what went wrong?
Power and money. That's what went wrong. Even though A did not finish college, I couldn't help but admire his passion and drive for going into new business ventures. I tried to keep him grounded most of the time, giving him the pros and cons of each venture he told me about. He listened but would still follow his gut feeling -- which, more often than not, meant going ahead with the business venture. As far as I know, A had started at least 6 businesses; most of them were short lived. With each new venture, he would meet new people. Powerful and moneyed people, who flaunted their wealth in front of A's eyes. A, slowly blinded, began to talk more and more about money, and the different ways he wanted to get it. None of which I agreed with. Once, I told him, "Alam mo ikaw, pa-immoral na ng immoral mga pinapasok mo." To which he replied defensively, "Hindi na tayo bata no."
?!?!?!
Age had nothing to do with it. And he knew it.
He allied himself with the "powerful people up there." And would regal me with stories about their latest shenanigans. I would nod and say uh-huh at the right moments, silently wishing for the conversation to be over soon. I have tried ending those painfully long conversations every once in a while, but he would always find a way to extend it. I never tried to correct him again, as I felt I really didn't have the right to, and I think, he didn't really want to be corrected at that point in his life. He was perfectly happy doing what he was doing. And as long as everyone was happy, why bother?
One day though, in one of our conversations where power and money were the main topics again, he casually mentioned how he refused to help one of our highschool batchmates with a legal problem, even though he had all the means to help him. "Why?" I asked. "Because he didn't contribute to my "fund."" Fund here meant the money he asked (wanted) us to donate to support his "powerful friend up there" who was running for congressman at that time. I was flabbergasted. Is this really the A I knew? What happened to the old A? "I'm wiser now," that's what he told me. Wiser? I don't think so.
But the turning point for our friendship came after a recent family problem, where I knew he would be able to help. He turned me away, just like that, with a flat out lie. A lie, which I discovered the next day. I was hurt. Was it because I didn't contribute to his fund too? Come to think of it, I have asked for his help several times before, and I ended up either ignored or lied to. Sometimes, I would be lucky enough to talk to his partner in crime slash friend R, where I would be lectured about what I should have done to avoid my problem. But bottom line would always be -- I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do about it.
Days later, he called me. Asking for a favor. He wanted to borrow money. For his friend - R. Was A serious?!?! Apparently he was, because he has not stopped calling me since December last year.
Unfortunately for him, I'm so much wiser now.
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