God talked to me three times...

The first time was on November 18. I noticed some brownish spots on my underpants. We rushed to our OB, who prescribed some medications and bedrest. The brownish spots disappeared after two days. And upon reading up on it on the internet, I found out that brownish spots are nothing to worry about. So after two days, despite my doctor's orders, I went about my usual daily activities.

God probably said, "Huh? Was I not clear enough that I want her to slow down a bit? Let Me be a bit clearer this time."

So on the morning of November 27, as I got up from bed, I felt something. When I checked, there were reddish brown stains on my underpants. Not spots ha, stains. It stained the liner I was wearing completely. Again, we immediately rushed to our OB's clinic, who prescribed the same medications but with stricter orders for bedrest this time. No going out, no heavy activities. Just strict bedrest.

After a few days, the stains disappeared. So I became more lenient with myself. I refrained from going up and down the stairs, but I still walked around a lot inside our bedroom. No more heavy activities, but it wasn't what you'd call strict bedrest either.

So again, God probably said, "This woman just doesn't get it! For my next sign, I will make sure she stays put!"

On the morning of December 6, I got up from bed and again, felt the alarming wetness down there. This time, they were not reddish brown. The stains were bright red - like I was in the middle of my period. Referring back to the things I read on the net, I knew this wasn't good. So forcing myself to calm down, I laid down in bed for 30 minutes, hoping that the blood will stop. Mike called our OB, who immediately advised us to check into the nearby hospital.

While lying down, I prayed to God, to please, please let me learn this lesson of slowing down in another way. Please not this way.. please not this way. In hysterics, I called my brother, and asked him to pray too. (NOTE: When we were younger, I often turned to my brother to make my wishes come true. It sounds so silly, I know. But what the heck - I almost always got what I wished for!)

After 30 minutes, Mike and I were calm enough to pack up and go to the hospital. Before we left, I felt I had to pee. And the moment I did, I felt the blood gushing out from me. In less than five minutes, I had soaked up two liners.

CRAP.

When we got to the hospital, after the initial check ups, they confined me to the labor room, where I was hooked up to a doppler, with doctors checking up on me every 30 minutes to check for contractions. Thankfully, the bleeding stopped that evening.

BUT! God had other plans. Just to add some more drama, the next morning, after I peed, I felt some fluid leak out from me. Uncontrollably. And my first thought was, my water bag broke! That was the doctors' thought too, as they checked me. So I was sent to the ultrasound department to check that my amniotic fluid level was okay.

Fortunately, it was.

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The past few days had been really hellish, but there were several valuable lessons learned.

First is, to listen to my body. The first brownish spots were signs for me to slow down. But I refused to listen, and thought everybody around me (including my hubby and OB) were just being too overcautious. I now realize that when you're pregnant, overcautiousness IS a good thing.

Second, if I hadn't been so stubborn, MAYBE these heart stopping incidents could have been prevented. When I think back to all those activities I did, I couldn't think of anything that I could say would be worth the experience we had over the past few days.

Third, there are certain things that one cannot do anything about, regardless of all the precautions you took. That day when I thought my amniotic fluid was leaking, I had been lying in bed for 24 hours already, with strict monitoring from dozens of hospital staff. At that point, I just left everything up to Him.

I will be on strict bedrest from now until end of January, when I reach my 30th week and baby will have a fighting chance IF she comes out prematurely. I will miss Christmas, I will miss New Year. Heck, I"ll even miss Chinese New Year. But I don't mind. As long as she's okay.

Christmas

I've been spotting for almost two weeks now. On and off. Light spotting most of the time, but one heavy spotting was enough to make us run to the doctor, who, as expected, advised strict bedrest for me.

Then a week after the spotting incident, I got sick. Coughs, colds, sore throat... the works.

And because I love my family, I have isolated myself from them. Mike CANNOT get sick, especially during the holidays when their family businesss needs him the most. Chloe cannot get sick too, she has a Christmas program to perform! :) A performance, which, judging by the way things are going, I won't be able to see. :(

So I am on STRICT bedrest now. I get up only when I need to. I have asked the yaya not to bring Chloe in, so she won't get my germs. Also because I know that when she's here, I won't be able to resist playing with her.

I'm getting teary eyed just typing this entry. Well, because I had grand dreams this Christmas. Of going to kiddie Christmas activities. Of baking cookies with Chloe. Of going out for a romantic Christmas dinner with Mike. Of watching Chloe sit on Santa's lap while we take her picture. Of decorating our brand new Christmas tree together. The list can go on and on, and I can cry till my tears run out. But I cannot do anything about it.

But it's not all sad. Friends and family are always nearby. My parents bring over stuff they think I need. :) One call to Wenya and I have a brand new Christmas tree complete with the trimmings. And a brief chat with my uber busy brother, and he's on his way over with some illegally downloaded movies. :D Friends have come over to visit, because I cannot go out.

And Mike. Mike deserves a paragraph of his own. :) I know how busy he is at their store, but he manages to bring me the littlest, most trivial things I ask him for. Regardless of whether it's a need or a want, I just have to say it, and it's there. He wakes up early to bring Chloe to school, comes home late from work and immediately takes over looking after her.

Just so you know, the original title of this post was "Christmas :(." But after typing what I just wrote, I decided to remove the sad emoticon. Nothing to be sad for pala.

Merry Christmas everyone!