Eat, Live, Love

H20 Hotel and Manila Ocean Park staycation

2012-02-10T15:01:00.007+08:00

One of my resolutions for this year is to travel more. Last weekend, we went for a staycation in H20 Hotel, much to the delight of the little ones.

Excited to check in.

Can you see the excitement in her eyes? She LOVES to be in charge of our luggage, good for us!

Finally! Our room! This was the first room assigned to us. There were complimentary potato chips and soda. Mike ate the chips in this room.

My brother's room. He got upgraded because their original room smelled like cigarette smoke. Do you see my hubby? He's wearing white, and munching on the complimentary chips. He got the chips in this room too.

Look at the size of their bathtub! The little one wanted to sleep there!

My dad gave us his room instead. Cool way to wake up in the morning! Do you see the complimentary chips? Do I really have to say who took it? Hahahahha.

Gwa-kong with the kids. I love this photo.

By the bay

And my favorite part of the staycation was:
I think I went back a total of three times for their breakfast buffet. No, it wasn't that good. Just that I'm a sucker for unlimited garlic rice, corned beef, sausages and eggs. Plus, their laksa was good too!

It was a very welcome breather for me, what with all the maid dramas happening in our house. Now, on to planning our summer vacation!

Paper Lanterns

2012-02-02T15:41:00.002+08:00

I was so excited to light up these paper lanterns. I really was. Mike told me how to do it: 1. Look for the wick. If you can't find it, just light up the whole waxy part. 2. Release. 3. Enjoy the show. That's so easy, anyone can do it, right?

So one windy Monday evening, I told Chloe to call her friends so they can watch the paper lantern show. One lantern only. Hahahah. Her yaya lit up the wick and we waited as the hot air started to fill up the insides of the paper lantern. When the lantern was good and ready to go, one yaya said, "Naku, ang lakas ng hangin, pano kung mapunta sa bahay ng kapitbahay? Baka masunog ang bahay!"

So there I was, holding a paper lantern which was growing increasingly hot by the second, afraid to let it go. All the what ifs went into my mind. What if it burned our house? What if it burned the neighbor's house? Or, or, what if it doesn't burn any of the houses in our neighborhood but lands on a faraway house on its way down? While all these what ifs were going on in my mind, the fire inside the lantern grew bigger and bigger until finally,the paper lantern burned itself down.

Problem solved.

Seriously, it wasn't until I read this that I realized how risky and dangerous releasing those paper lanterns could have been. Buti na lang the yaya said something! Otherwise, this post would not have had a happy ending.

Brother Ducky

2011-09-07T15:38:00.003+08:00

Donating breastmilk

2011-07-28T11:40:00.002+08:00

Haven't updated this site for quite a while now. But I just wanted to share this. I'm donating 100oz of breastmilk. 100!! ONE HUNDRED!! How in the world did I make a hundred ounces of breastmilk? After all my worries of diminishing milk supply, here I am donating a hundred ounces of breastmilk! Wheeeeeeee!

Baby is a Lady

2011-04-26T18:57:00.003+08:00

When I call Chloe 'baby,' she ALWAYS answers, "But I'm not a baby anymore mama. I'm a big girl na!"

:(

But then, Chloe baby, I asked you to make ten wishes for Ninang Liza's birthday (looooong story), and your answers made me wish you'll stay our baby forever.

1. I wish for papa to play with me.
2. I wish for papa to swim with me.
3. I wish for papa to go out with me.
4. I wish to eat fruit jelly.
5. I wish shobe Margaux will grow up.
6. I wish shobe Margaux will play with me.
7. I wish to go to Disneyland.
8. I wish for mama to reach the sky.
9. I wish shobe will sleep everyday so she can grow up.

I only got 9 wishes. I can't remember the 10th.

See baby? Hearing your wishes brought tears to my eyes. Such innocent desires. :) I know, it won't be long before you start wishing for serious, more adult things. So please, grant mommy's wish... I wish you won't grow up so fast. :(

*image from gettyimages.com

"The Mother's Prayer for its Daughter"

2011-04-20T06:11:00.002+08:00

Got this from Daphne Osena's blog:

"The Mother's Prayer for its Daughter" by Tina Fey

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered,

May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half

And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her

When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the nearby subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock N’ Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance.

Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes

And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.

Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long,

For Childhood is short -- a Tiger Flower blooming

Magenta for one day --

And Adulthood is long and Dry-Humping in Cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever,

That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers

And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister,

Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends,

For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord,

That I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 a.m., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck.

“My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental note to call me. And she will forget.

But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.

So true. Funny and poignant at the same time.

Our Two Angels

2011-04-19T16:25:00.004+08:00

It's a rare moment to have my two girls napping at the same time...

You see Chloe's pic above? Look at the penguin. It's her baby. It's swaddled. She got that from watching me swaddle her baby sister all the time. Even the way she swaddles it is similar to how I do it! No, I didn't sit her down and teach her. She learned it just by watching me.

Another thing she learned by watching me. In this pic, she's breastfeeding her baby. :) She forgot to lift up her shirt, but that's okay. :)

Cukay

2011-04-19T15:07:00.003+08:00

Wenya brought home red velvet cake from Cukay, one of the stalls in Eastwood's indoor food market.

The thing with me is, the more I love the food, the longer it will stay in the ref. So I can savor it longer. :) This small slice of yummy red velvet cake is almost guaranteed to stay in our ref for another week or so. I loved the cream cheese frosting.

Too bad they didn't include their website on their label.

Cristine

2011-04-19T14:38:00.004+08:00

When I was in college, people who didn't know me well would often call me Christine. In the course I was enrolled in, there was a girl named Christine who had the same surname as me. You can imagine how fun (dripping with sarcasm now) it was for me to have my test papers and other college documents constantly mixed up with hers.

Even in the business world, foreign suppliers would often call me Christine.

And I wonder why.

Hellloooooo??? The only thing these two names have in common are the beginning letter and the last three letters. I personally do not think the two names sound alike. What about the Melissas of the world? Are they remembered as Melanie/Melinda?

Then the other day, I got this in the email:

Naku ha. Twice na nga naka sign ung name ko eh. Hindi pa rin malinaw?

:D

Success!

2011-04-15T14:58:00.004+08:00

I can't bilibit! Even when I was diligently pumping milk for Chloe, I could never pump this much from both boobs!

Having Margaux leave the hospital with us really helped. With Chloe, we had to leave her there for 10 days because of an infection. Since I was a breastfeeding novice then, I only pumped twice a day, causing my milk supply to drastically decrease.

It also helped to have my Gmail chat buddy / breastfeeding cheerleader Jenny patiently answer all my questions on breastfeeding. If not for her, I would've given up by now. It really helped to have someone tell me what is and isn't normal. Even with all my determination to breastfeed, I had serious doubts about my milk supply especially during the first few nights. Each time I put Margaux down to sleep, she'd wake up ten minutes after, wanting to feed! It's comfort nursing, Jenny said. Or, as I'd like to put it, Margaux just wants me to be her human pacifier. Hahaahah. My solution? Co sleeping. She gets to feed, I get to rest. And I wake up with lots of milk, resulting in the pic shown above.

Plus now, whenever I am overcome with happiness over my two daughters, I leak milk! Just this morning, I glanced at Margaux and watched her while she slept. Seconds later, there was that familiar tingling sensation and drip, drip, drip came the milk! One time, Chloe said something particularly touching, and a few seconds later, I had two big wet circles on my chest area. Hahahahah! I'm an unstoppable milk dispenser. :D

Breastfeeding issues

2011-04-07T10:42:00.003+08:00

Before I gave birth to baby M, now known as Margaux Francine, one of the things that I was determined to do was to purely breastfeed her.

Which is why I was pleasantly surprised to know about Cardinal Santos's strict policy on breastfeeding. When I gave birth to Chloe years ago, they already had breastfeeding posters and flyers posted in the labor room and nursery. But, if the mom is unavailable or prefers not to breastfeed, they automatically gave the babies formula or glucose water. Now, their policy is, unless there is a medical reason not to, moms are highly encouraged to breastfeed their babies as soon as possible. Two hours after I gave birth, I was gently woken up by the nurse who brought Margaux to me for latching. Five hours after I gave birth, still groggy from exhaustion and medications, I was wheeled into their breastfeeding room to feed Margaux. I didn't mind though. It was one of those things that I had mentally prepared myself for.

Unfortunately, not all moms are as prepared as I was. It was on my third feeding session that I met E, a second time mom but a first time breastfeeder. Everytime her newborn baby would latch, E would break out into a sweat from the pain. She would wince and cry out a bit. She couldn't understand why breastfeeding was painful, she told me. Nurses told her her baby was latching well. Maybe it's because she doesn't have milk, she reasoned out. The junior nurses could only look on as she muffled her shrieks with EACH breastfeeding session. And everytime I'd go into the breastfeeding room, she'd be there sitting on the same chair, confiding that she has been there almost the whole day.

She asked the head nurse for a break from breastfeeding, so that her sore nipples can rest. The nurses wouldn't let her, she said. On the day she was discharged, I couldn't help but overhear her conversation with her pedia. The pedia gave her the go signal to rest from breastfeeding and to give her baby glucose water. Once her pedia left, the head nurse came out and discussed with her the benefits of breastfeeding and how to go about it.

Head nurse (HN) goes on and on about the advantages, which, I'm sure, E already knows. E nods her head and keeps silent the whole time. When the nurse was finished with her lecture, E finally spoke up and asked for glucose water (she was wary about making her own glucose water so she wanted to get some from the nursery instead).

HN's face immediately changes. From her ultra positive stance on breastfeeding just seconds ago, her eyebrows were now furrowed, almost like she was quietly tsk-tsking E for her glucose water request.

This isn't verbatim, but their conversation more or less sounded like this:

HN: Ma'm, ang breastfeeding talaga is the best for baby. Wala po talagang makakalamang sa gatas ng ina.

E: Oo, magbe breastfeed naman ako eh. Pero papahinga lang ako sandali kasi masakit na talaga.

HN: Pero kasi talagang walang makakatalo sa gatas ng ina, ma'm.
And then she goes on to repeat the lecture she gave a few minutes ago.

E: Pero kukuha lang ako ng glucose water, konti lang, break lang sandali, then mag feed ako ulit.

Listening in on their conversation, it seemed to me that no one was really listening to each other. Both just wanted to say what they wanted to say, without really hearing what the other person is saying. The nurse wasn't addressing the mom's pain issues, and the mom wasn't listening na din to what the nurse was saying. It made me wonder too, if the head nurse really breastfed her baby, or she's just lecturing what the DOH has required them to say.

I'm not sure how their conversation ended. But minutes later, when E left the room, the head nurse described E as "makulit kasi nag-iinsist ng glucose water eh breastfeeding talaga dapat."

It is situations like these that would really discourage first time moms (and bfeeders) to give up altogether. I believe all moms have the best intentions for their little ones when they're just starting to breastfeed. I believe most moms read up / research on breastfeeding to prepare themselves for things like sore nipples, frequent feedings, mastitis, milk output, etc. But to me, no amount of reading can prepare you for them. One wouldn't understand sore nipples unless she has felt the toe curling pain of baby latching on for the first few days. One wouldn't understand frequent feedings unless she has been woken up by loud, hungry cries every five to ten minutes. One wouldn't understand concerns on milk output unless she has pumped out milk that amounted only to less than an ounce. One wouldn't understand rock hard breasts unless she has felt the rock hard, painful lumps herself.

And then one day, the pain from sore nipples becomes unbearable. Or maybe they get depressed with their pumped out milk volume. Or they are so overcome with exhaustion that they just think,what the heck, I was formula fed, and I turned out okay. And they just stop.

I applaud Cardinal Santos' strict policy on breastfeeding. But maybe, a little more empathy on the nurses' side will work wonders. It's hard enough going through the first few days of breastfeeding, given the hospital's strict breastfeeding policy. But it's even harder to know that the people who are supposed to be encouraging and teaching first time moms about breastfeeding are passing judgements just because you want a 'break' from bfeeding.

The Bad...and the Ugly

2011-03-27T12:30:00.003+08:00

They said the second time around would be easier.

I was sooooo banking on that thought when D day came. What started out as a bloody show Saturday afternoon eventually progressed into a cramping marathon on Tuesday. By Tuesday afternoon, I knew it was time to go to the hospital.

So imagine my surprise when the doctors told me that it was all a false alarm, and that I am to go home and wait for my contractions to progress. So I sat up to get dressed, and the moment I did, I felt my waterbag break.

"Why is the water greenish?" Mike asked.

Hooooo nooooo, I thought. Is that meconium? Nooooooo.... I don't want meconium. That will mean delivery by CS!! NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOO!!!

"Call the doctors!" They were all outside attending to the other patients.

Good thing that they said it wasn't meconium. It was just good 'ol plain amniotic fluid. Whew.....

Then the contractions started becoming more intense. Mike was there to hold my hand through it all, but eventually, he had to leave, leaving me all alone in the labor room, with only the interns and the resident OBs as my companions.

I was admitted to the labor room at around 7.30pm. By 9.30, I was at 4cm. By 10.30, I was at 5cm. And baby was dropping. So through the pain, it was the relatively easier and faster labor that kept me holding on to the thought that hey.... the second time around IS easier.

I lost track of the time after that, as the pains became more intense. I held several doctors' hands, held the bed rail, muffled my face with the pillow, covered my mouth.... I did everything to keep myself from losing control.

At 5 cm, I started asking for the epidural. That was how I remembered it with Chloe - the epidural was given to me at 5cm. But the resident doctors said they will wait for my OB's advise. Fine... let's wait.

By the time my OB arrived, I was at 8cm already. No hand holding, muffling or covering my face helped. Margaux was ready to come out, and she was ready NOW! I screamed as each contraction racked my body. At its peak, the contractions felt like several elephants stomping on my uterus all at the same time!!

"ASAN NA UNG ANESTHESIOLOGIST!!!!!!" I screamed.

"She's in the parking lot na..." my OB replied.

So I waited and waited and hoped she'd hurry up.

2 cms later, she was still a no show!

By this time, I was screaming like a pig. To hell with what everybody in the room thought. They aren't the ones in pain!!

Finally, the late (and not great) anesthesiologist arrived. It took her four attempts before the epidural was successfully administered. All this, while I was curled up like a shrimp.

Where was my hubby, you might ask?

He was waiting for the signal to go inside the DR. But he heard my screams from where he was, and requested that he be allowed inside. I felt his hand stroke my forehead, to signal his presence, for which I am grateful for.

Then the urge to push became too great to control. The epidural was useless!! It was the sedative (given when I was still lucid) that was taking over. I couldn't keep my eyes open, but I could feel each contraction. I could hear small parts of conversations taking place, but I couldn't open my eyes to see who were doing the talking. I could hear my hubby's voice, but I didn't know exactly where he was.

Then the doctors and nurses began the countdown.

Inhale...1...2....3..4...5...6..7..8..9..10...PUSH!!!

Exhale.......

Then they repeat the countdown.

I didn't feel any numbness. There was just pain. Great, unbearable, inexplicable PAIN.

I heard someone saying she'll put a gas mask on me, to help me cope with the pain. (Mike later said it was the anes... explaining away why the epidural wasn't taking effect.) Again, useless!!

After several death defying pushes, Margaux was finally out!! YAY!!

BUT, it wasn't over!

Since the epidural didn't take effect, I could feel each needle prick as the OB sewed me up.

After a few stitches, I blacked out.

*************************************************************************************

I don't know exactly what happened after that. Either I passed out from the pain, or the gas mask made me fall asleep.

When I was transferred to my room later that morning, the first thing Mike and I talked about was all the screaming I did. We couldn't help but compare it with our first delivery, where there was no scream fest whatsoever.

What went wrong?

Based on what we recalled, all we could agree on was that the anesthesiologist was late.

I remember being at 8 cm and still no signs of the anesthesiologist.

I know she arrived when I was in the DR. Mike wasn't called in until the epidural had been administered. And he said, all we did in the DR was wait for the epidural to take effect. My OB began pricking me to see if I could feel the pain. I could feel each prick no! Then Margaux came out then eventually she had to sew me up, and until that time, I could feel the needle pricks pa!

So many of my friends said not to pay the anes. One even said to sue her.

The anesthesiologist visited us twice while we were in the hospital. I was so surprised (and shocked) to see her the first time, I didn't know what to say. Do anesthesiologists usually visit their 'patients?' She kept explaining why the epidural didn't take effect agad. No apologies (which was what I wanted). All explanations. None of which made sense to me, nor seemed acceptable din. But as I said, I'm just really relieved and happy, so I didn't say anything na lang.

Mike, on the other hand, had a lot of things to say. And talk away he did on the anes' 2nd visit.

Must have caught the anes by surprise. She finally apologized to my husband (none pa din to me as of today). And gave us a discount on her rates. Big discount daw. But when we saw the statement, eto na ba yung big discount?

So my second labor experience, sad to say, was uber traumatic. I wonder, if we do decide to sue, do we have grounds? :( Plus we paid na din. :( Was it the wrong thing to do?

The Good......

2011-03-27T12:01:00.002+08:00

Margaux Francine Uy Dy
March 23, 2011
12.16 am
6 lbs 8 oz
48 cm

Proud papa!

Birth day cake from Auntie Audrey. :)

I wish I had taken a picture of all the people who visited us. But, as Liza said, I only think of these ideas after the moment has gone. Harharhar. Let me enumerate na lang:

Mom and dad - my first visitors! Actually, more of Margaux's first visitors. They waited in the nursery then left. I was still in the recovery room kasi. Recovering from the uber traumatic experience, which will be discussed shortly in the next post.

Liza - my first official visitor. Mare, thank you for the food!!

Val, Anj, Alan, Joe - thank you for the Krispy Kreme and the grape juice! Buti na lang you didn't give it to room 206 mwehwehwehweh

Cathy, MIL, Charlie - thank you for the dimsum! Hmmm.... puro food. :)

Mom, dad, Rich, Auds, Ian, Mon, Wenya, Wio, Alford - again, so much food! It was actually a semi party for Margaux's birth. We had candle blowing pa.

Maki, Malou - again, thanks for the cake! :D

Sharon and Jon - Appreciated your visit so much since you guys were to leave for US the next day, but you chose to visit me even with unpacked suitcases. Hahahahah!

Explaining death....

2011-02-28T14:32:00.003+08:00

Meet Apple and Orange. :) Apple, the red one, is a fighting fish, a gift our secretary gave to Chloe. Orange, the uhm.. orange one, is the fish Chloe caught during her school fair.

It took her sometime to catch Orange. And before she did, she asked her papa to buy a fishbowl, painted the bowl herself, and waited for it to dry. She wanted to make sure that her new fish will have a ready home waiting.

Unfortunately, Orange passed away this morning. :( And when I told Chloe about it, she cried. :( Cried like there was no tomorrow. :(

I was actually surprised with her reaction. Why? Well, I mentioned in a previous post that Chloe gives me freshly-picked-from-the-compound-garden flowers everyday. And she would see them turn brown and die. And I'd tell her that the flowers are dead and that we have to throw them na. And she'd be okay with it. So I thought, for a 3 year old, Chloe must have understood the concept of death pretty well.

So this morning, I blindly thought she'd just as easily accept Orange's passing away.

ME: Chloe, Orange is not here na. She went to heaven already.
Chloe: Why? Why did she go to heaven?
ME: Because it's time na for her to go.
Chloe: But I love her!!

I went up to our room while Chloe went down na to the garage. Of course, I picked the best time to announce this unfortunate event - this conversation happened minutes before she was to leave for school.

A few seconds later, from our third floor, I heard a loud bawl from the garage.

Chloe: WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
*At this point, Mike was giving me the evil eye.
ME: Chloe, don't cry na....
Chloe: Why (sob) is Orange (sob sob) going to heaven?
Chloe: What will she do there? WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
ME: O sige, let's just get a new Orange for you, okay?
Chloe: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I donwanuwan!!! I want Orange!!
ME: Okay, let's ask someone to fetch Orange from heaven, okay?
Mike: Chloe, papa will fetch Orange in heaven for you
ME: Uh, NO YOU WILL NOT MIKE!
Chloe: Who's that someone who will fetch Orange?
ME: Secret
Chloe: Why won't you tell me?!?! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
ME: It's a surprise. One day, you'll see Orange is back na!!!

This calmed her down a bit. Well, calm enough for Mike to be able to back out of our garage with Chloe quietly sniffling beside him. But when she got to school, she cried again.

Haaaaaaaaay. I want to bonk myself on the head. Can someone please do it for me? How could I have thought that death would be a concept my baby could accept so easily? I'm 30+ years older than her and I still cannot understand it.

The week in pictures....

2011-02-25T15:24:00.005+08:00

Chloe's growth chart

We actually received a beautiful growth chart during my baby shower, courtesy of Vivian and Momon. But, I don't know where to hang it. I've been wanting to redecorate Chloe's room for ages now, so that I can hang the growth chart. But siguro by the time we do get to that task, Chloe will be in her teens na harhar.

I don't mind really. There's something charmingly old fashioned with marking her height on the doorpost. Can you believe she can grow a few cms in just a few days? I double, triple and quadruple checked pa. She's growing so fast. It's a bittersweet thing. I'm happy she's growing, but I'm sad too. Can anyone relate?

Uber expensive cheesecake from Italianni's

As I mentioned in my previous post, I was super craving for baked cheesecake. So one day, while dizzy with hunger, I called 2121212 quickdelivery to order Italianni's cheesecake. Never mind that it cost Php 450. I figured, I'll savor the whole cake naman eh. Imagine my surprise and disappointment when my order arrived. Php 450 for a wedge of cheesecake?!?! Sabagay, I must have been so dizzy with hunger I forgot that Italianni's wasn't exactly what I'd consider 'reasonably priced.' So savor the cheesecake I did. I made sure it lasted for a week. Harharhar. That is equivalent to one 1.5" sliver a day.

Chloe's pupu chart

Please disregard the dates on the chart. I haven't been coherent for the past week, as implied in the previous paragraph. Anyways, we are just so happy having Chloe fill up her chart for six straight days na. She missed yesterday, but no biggie. See the box with the two stars on the second row? That's coz she pooped twice. One major, one minor. Hehehehe. She insisted on coloring the star as soon as she finished her toilet ritual. And now she wants to make a wiwi chart. Eh? We're running out of surprises na for her.

*************************************************************************************
Some more poop talk......

I just received some terribly sad news about a friend's son. The boy passed away due to diarrhea. My initial reaction was - how can anyone die of diarrhea? But another friend explained how serious diarrhea really is. So to moms out there, please, please take diarrhea seriously. If your babies don't show improvement after a day of severe diarrhea, contact your pedia na. Don't wait! I'm guilty of waiting din sometimes. Like when Chloe was really suffering from stomach pains in the middle of the night. I thought hard before calling her pedia, because it was near midnight and the pedia might not really appreciate the midnight call. But I thought, I'd rather be a makapal mom and call her, than wait till morning and watch Chloe suffer. I never regret calling her. I just give her something on our next pedia visit.

Stay healthy everyone!

Happy Over Crap

2011-02-20T17:48:00.003+08:00

I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be so happy to see poop.

Two weeks ago, after a very, VERY traumatic E.R. experience, Chloe was diagnosed with chronic constipation. Now, I've never had a problem with pooping. Of course, there's the occasional one to two days of constipation, but nothing that a slice of papaya would not solve. Sorry, was that too much information for you? :D

But of course, things are different when you're dealing with a toddler, who, doctors said, has one week's worth of poop stuck in the lower left quadrant of her abdomen. ONE WEEK! The usual question I get is, "How could you not have noticed that she hasn't pooped for a week?!?!" And here is the answer. It's not that she didn't poop for a week. She poops everyday, pero konti lang. And sometimes, she'd poop when she's with her yaya, so I don't get to see how much she poops really.

So dealing with a toddler with one week's worth of poop stuck up inside her is no easy task. First, you have to deal with her nightly cries of pain. Chloe cried herself to sleep. Sometimes, I think she fell asleep out of exhaustion from the pain.

Second, since she had lots of poop inside her tummy, I assumed she felt full all the time. So she barely ate or drank. Eh the doctor ordered pa naman for her to drink lots of prune juice and eat lots of papaya -- all of which she refused. Even water, she refused! I even considered just using a syringe to force prune juice down her throat.

Third, not only did she refuse food and water, she also refused to drink her medicine. It took two people to give her her meds. One (yaya) to hold her down, the other one (me) to force it down her throat with a syringe. I felt so evil doing it, but I knew I had to.

The whole thing was traumatic not only for her but for me too. I felt so helpless seeing her lying down the whole day, refusing to eat or drink, refusing to even watch tv. She'd just lie down and sleep for the most part of the day. I wanted to do something, but I didn't know what to do. I bugged her pedia to no end. But the pedia said, all we could really do was wait. If, by a certain day Chloe showed no improvement, she'd refer us to a gastroenterologist. We did use suppositories and even had her undergo an enema in the hospital, but the relief they gave was temporary. By afternoon, she'd be on her tummy, in pain again.

So imagine my happiness when last Sunday, after several sessions of sitting down on the toilet with her, and coming up with different imaginative stories about a lost poop who finally sees the light and find its way out of her body, Chloe FINALLY pooped!!!

I was so happy I wanted to announce it on Facebook. :D

But I knew my FB circle wouldn't really appreciate the information. So I called the one person who I knew would share the happiness with me.

I called my husband.

And we were both really, really happy over poop!!

Then I made a pupu chart, where stars are drawn for every day that she poops.

If she can fill up a row with stars, she gets a major surprise! But we do give her little surprises for every day that she does. Plus, she gets to draw the stars herself (all in shades of pink).

It's been two weeks since the diagnosis. So far, so good. Her appetite has gone back to normal. And lately she poops more frequently na. :)

Vday

2011-02-15T12:55:00.005+08:00

At around 4.30pm yesterday, I got the biggest surprise of my life:

Flowers from Mike!! From Mike!! Flowers!!

I put them in our tabo (while looking around the house for a vase). The next morning, I was saddened to see this:

The flowers have wilted. The petals were coming off:

Some bulbs came off completely:

Oh well. Tulips were never meant to live in tropical countries. And with the heat now, I knew I had only a few hours with them. Right now, I have the aircon on just so I can extend their lives a bit. :D I'm sentimental and crazy that way.

Thank you honey. It's been 9 years since we first met each other. And yes, it still feels like the dating stage. :)

33 weeks today

2011-02-11T16:10:00.002+08:00

I can't bilibit.

We might be able to see baby M in three weeks!! According to 3dpregnancy.parentsconnect.com, this is how our baby M looks like now:

33 Weeks Pregnant

We opted not to get a 4D scan na lang. After all, we'll be able to see her in three to five weeks na!! Save the money na lang. I wonder though if she'll mind that her achi got lots of pics even while in my tummy, while the only pic I have of her is the one where she looked like a skull.

How am I feeling?
I'm feeling panicky - still so many things to do! Clothes to wash, dressers and shelves to build... We purposely delayed buying things because.. well, I didn't want to preempt our situation. Just in case something goes wrong, I didn't want to go home and see all the things we have already prepared for her.

I'm feeling scared - labor pains and all. Side kwento. During my first pregnancy, I asked a good friend to describe labor pains. She said, it's a combination of dysmenorrhea and diarrhea but 10x intensified. Ah sus... kayang kaya ko yan, I thought. Then D day came, and I tell you, it was NOTHING like 10x diarrhea and dysmenorrhea! It's more of feeling something inside you ripping your guts out. Like electric shocks emanating from inside your gut, NON STOP. Like your whole puson slowly tearing away from your whole body. Well, you get the point. :) But do not worry. I've talked to other moms and not all had these words to describe labor pains. :D

I seem to not have an appetite. I see food and it makes me sick. I do get hungry at odd hours, like immediately after lunch or before going to sleep. And when I do get hungry, I crave for different foods. It can be Brother's Burger one day, then the native palitaw the next. As of this writing, I am craving for rich and creamy cheesecake - the baked kind.

Baby M still doesn't have a final name. Mike and I can't agree on names!! To him, everything I suggest sounds like a porn star's name daw. To me, everything he suggests sounds so dated and old. What to do what to do.

I still cannot believe we made it this far. Ten weeks ago, while confined in the labor room,I thought we were going to lose baby M. Two weeks ago, while in a wedding reception, I thought baby M was coming out na. I didn't know which was worse - the thought of giving birth in the middle of the ballroom, or of baby M coming out prematurely.

We took it one day at a time. I thanked God for each day that she stayed in my womb. And now, here we are. The thought of having a new addition to our family seems so .. surreal. In three to five weeks time, we will be the parents of two beautiful girls. Chloe will be a big sister na.

I am enjoying the last few weeks of my time alone with Chloe. After all, these moments (just Chloe, me and Mike) will never happen again.

Sick

2011-02-09T17:57:00.002+08:00

If our nearby hospital issues a customer loyalty card, we would probably be one of the first in line to get one.

The three of us (Mike, Chloe and I) have been taking turns getting sick since December last year. Never all at the same time. But usually, it's Mike or Chloe who gets sick more frequently. I'm the 'healthiest' one.

Just a side kwento. The age gap between me and Mike is six years - a super, duper BIG NO-NO for the traditional Chinese. According to the Chinese horoscope, any of these things can happen:
- Mike and I will fight a lot OR
- Mike will get sick a lot. (He's a pig, I'm a snake. I'm more powerful between the two)

And then, Chloe was born in the year of the pig too.

And they're getting sick a lot.....

So I'm looking around for a feng shui expert to tell me if there's a pangontra for these things.

Chinese horoscopes and feng shui stuff aside, I really think people are getting sick a lot because of the weather. The cold in the air just leaves our immune system weakened. Plus the strain of the viruses going around is probably stronger now than it used to be. A cold used to last for just a few days. Mine has been around for more than a week now.

Aside from the weather, I also think it's the food we eat that weakens our system. Which is why I want to switch to a healthier diet. Have been looking around for organic stuff lately. One of these days, I'm going to donate all the processed foods in our pantry, which my parents so happily buy every week. I've lectured them so many times on the ill effects of processed foods and canned goods, all to no avail. To them, there is a part of the pig's body that resembles the meat in a can of Spam. Haaay.

Stay healthy everyone!

One fine Sunday...

2011-01-27T18:06:00.006+08:00

We decided to bring Chloe biking at Fort Bonifacio

Unfortunately, the bike's gears weren't working. So the little one decided to start posing for pictures instead..

After which, we all got hungry and went to Chelsea Market & Cafe for a late lunch. The little one feasted on the complimentary bread...

Mike had this pork dish with cranberries...

I had the Fettuccine Carbonara. I was so hungry, I forgot to take a picture. :P

We ended the day with scoops of gelato from Gelatissimo....

We took lots of pics that day, but this one is my favorite....

FYI, I was seated most of the time. :)

Discipline 101

2011-01-18T14:58:00.002+08:00

It is during times like these when I feel that I am unfit for motherhood.

I just came from a two hour battle with Chloe. Over eight spoonfuls of rice and chicken adobo. And the battle is not over. She is still downstairs, facing the wall and crying her heart out. I cannot say that I've won the battle, even though she is currently serving her 'sentence' for it. We are both worn out, tired and exasperated from each other. Yet, I do not think either of us came out the wiser.

I have left the care of Chloe to her yaya for almost seven months now. The yaya is wonderful. At least, I think she is. I feel she loves Chloe, and sincerely believes she's doing the right thing. But after interviewing several moms who have kids around Chloe's age, and finding out that their kids are eating by themselves already, I panicked. A year ago, while we were out malling, Mike and I saw a boy of about eight to ten years old, being spoonfed by a yaya while his mom looked on. Spoonfed. At (conservatively) eight years old!!! I shudder at the thought of Chloe reaching that age, and still being spoonfed.

So the transition from being spoonfed to eating by herself was sudden. One day, I just decided on it. I know she knows how to eat by herself. All I have to do now is make her want to do it.

And from the looks of it, I'm not being successful at the task.

I have to remind myself that I am dealing with a three year old. I have to remind myself that when I was still single, I had dreams of being THE BEST mom because I'd know how to handle my own kids well. Silly me. It wasn't a dream. It was a fantasy.

Look at where we are now. :( The dinner table has become a battleground of some sort. We both dread being on it. We both cannot wait to get out of it.

Not only that. But lately, EVERYTHING has been a struggle. From getting her to brush her teeth in the morning, to getting her to brush her teeth at night. Even the aircon and electric fan have become issues. She wants it on. I want it off. And we fight.

Sometimes, actually, a lot of times, I just want to let her be. You don't want to brush your teeth? Then don't. You don't want to eat? Then don't. But if I do that, what kind of mother would I be?

I need to preserve my sanity, if only so I'd still be sane when the second baby comes. Even now, when people (i.e. MY MOM) tell me I need to bring another baby to this world in the hopes that it'll be a boy, in my mind, I am secretly bonking them on the head already. It would be so easy to just give birth and leave everything to the yaya's hands. But I know myself -- I cannot do it. I AM a hands on mom.

The other day, after a post toothbrush war, Chloe told her yaya she's scared of me. Because I'm so mad daw. It broke my heart into pieces. It made me think even more of whether I'm doing the right thing.

I knew parenting would be hard. I just didn't realize it would be this hard.

Hormonal

2011-01-13T20:25:00.002+08:00

So to clarify, I am hormonal not because I'm mad at the world. :)

But because lately, I have been extra teary eyed, and that's putting it mildly.

I.cry.at.everything.

The night before Mike left for HK, I cried like we wouldn't see each other for the next six months. To think he would be gone for only five days.

I cried while watching 'My Amnesia Girl.' Not teary eyed crying. More like hagulgol crying.

I cried while watching the last two episodes of Desperate Housewives. Why? I do not know.

I cried when I saw McDonald's relaunching of the Karen commercial.

I cry when I see Chloe do something new. I cry when she tells me she loves me. Every night.

So that is why I think I'm hormonal.

God talked to me three times...

2010-12-10T10:25:00.002+08:00

The first time was on November 18. I noticed some brownish spots on my underpants. We rushed to our OB, who prescribed some medications and bedrest. The brownish spots disappeared after two days. And upon reading up on it on the internet, I found out that brownish spots are nothing to worry about. So after two days, despite my doctor's orders, I went about my usual daily activities.

God probably said, "Huh? Was I not clear enough that I want her to slow down a bit? Let Me be a bit clearer this time."

So on the morning of November 27, as I got up from bed, I felt something. When I checked, there were reddish brown stains on my underpants. Not spots ha, stains. It stained the liner I was wearing completely. Again, we immediately rushed to our OB's clinic, who prescribed the same medications but with stricter orders for bedrest this time. No going out, no heavy activities. Just strict bedrest.

After a few days, the stains disappeared. So I became more lenient with myself. I refrained from going up and down the stairs, but I still walked around a lot inside our bedroom. No more heavy activities, but it wasn't what you'd call strict bedrest either.

So again, God probably said, "This woman just doesn't get it! For my next sign, I will make sure she stays put!"

On the morning of December 6, I got up from bed and again, felt the alarming wetness down there. This time, they were not reddish brown. The stains were bright red - like I was in the middle of my period. Referring back to the things I read on the net, I knew this wasn't good. So forcing myself to calm down, I laid down in bed for 30 minutes, hoping that the blood will stop. Mike called our OB, who immediately advised us to check into the nearby hospital.

While lying down, I prayed to God, to please, please let me learn this lesson of slowing down in another way. Please not this way.. please not this way. In hysterics, I called my brother, and asked him to pray too. (NOTE: When we were younger, I often turned to my brother to make my wishes come true. It sounds so silly, I know. But what the heck - I almost always got what I wished for!)

After 30 minutes, Mike and I were calm enough to pack up and go to the hospital. Before we left, I felt I had to pee. And the moment I did, I felt the blood gushing out from me. In less than five minutes, I had soaked up two liners.

CRAP.

When we got to the hospital, after the initial check ups, they confined me to the labor room, where I was hooked up to a doppler, with doctors checking up on me every 30 minutes to check for contractions. Thankfully, the bleeding stopped that evening.

BUT! God had other plans. Just to add some more drama, the next morning, after I peed, I felt some fluid leak out from me. Uncontrollably. And my first thought was, my water bag broke! That was the doctors' thought too, as they checked me. So I was sent to the ultrasound department to check that my amniotic fluid level was okay.

Fortunately, it was.

*************************************************************************************

The past few days had been really hellish, but there were several valuable lessons learned.

First is, to listen to my body. The first brownish spots were signs for me to slow down. But I refused to listen, and thought everybody around me (including my hubby and OB) were just being too overcautious. I now realize that when you're pregnant, overcautiousness IS a good thing.

Second, if I hadn't been so stubborn, MAYBE these heart stopping incidents could have been prevented. When I think back to all those activities I did, I couldn't think of anything that I could say would be worth the experience we had over the past few days.

Third, there are certain things that one cannot do anything about, regardless of all the precautions you took. That day when I thought my amniotic fluid was leaking, I had been lying in bed for 24 hours already, with strict monitoring from dozens of hospital staff. At that point, I just left everything up to Him.

I will be on strict bedrest from now until end of January, when I reach my 30th week and baby will have a fighting chance IF she comes out prematurely. I will miss Christmas, I will miss New Year. Heck, I"ll even miss Chinese New Year. But I don't mind. As long as she's okay.

Christmas

2010-12-05T11:45:00.004+08:00

I've been spotting for almost two weeks now. On and off. Light spotting most of the time, but one heavy spotting was enough to make us run to the doctor, who, as expected, advised strict bedrest for me.

Then a week after the spotting incident, I got sick. Coughs, colds, sore throat... the works.

And because I love my family, I have isolated myself from them. Mike CANNOT get sick, especially during the holidays when their family businesss needs him the most. Chloe cannot get sick too, she has a Christmas program to perform! :) A performance, which, judging by the way things are going, I won't be able to see. :(

So I am on STRICT bedrest now. I get up only when I need to. I have asked the yaya not to bring Chloe in, so she won't get my germs. Also because I know that when she's here, I won't be able to resist playing with her.

I'm getting teary eyed just typing this entry. Well, because I had grand dreams this Christmas. Of going to kiddie Christmas activities. Of baking cookies with Chloe. Of going out for a romantic Christmas dinner with Mike. Of watching Chloe sit on Santa's lap while we take her picture. Of decorating our brand new Christmas tree together. The list can go on and on, and I can cry till my tears run out. But I cannot do anything about it.

But it's not all sad. Friends and family are always nearby. My parents bring over stuff they think I need. :) One call to Wenya and I have a brand new Christmas tree complete with the trimmings. And a brief chat with my uber busy brother, and he's on his way over with some illegally downloaded movies. :D Friends have come over to visit, because I cannot go out.

And Mike. Mike deserves a paragraph of his own. :) I know how busy he is at their store, but he manages to bring me the littlest, most trivial things I ask him for. Regardless of whether it's a need or a want, I just have to say it, and it's there. He wakes up early to bring Chloe to school, comes home late from work and immediately takes over looking after her.

Just so you know, the original title of this post was "Christmas :(." But after typing what I just wrote, I decided to remove the sad emoticon. Nothing to be sad for pala.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Maid from Hell

2010-11-23T22:35:00.002+08:00

Okay, so I am not the best person to be writing this entry. I've had so many bad experiences with so many maids. But I'm not exaggerating when I say this - our current maid now has to be the WORST maid IN THE WORLD.

This current maid, who I'll call MFH (maid from hell) started working for us last June 28. 2010. At first, she was doing well. She'd wake up early and clean the house thoroughly. But that was just for the first week. After that, she'd start work around lunch time na, sometimes, even later. I didn't say anything na lang. As long as the work gets done, then I'm okay.

In the (almost) five months that she's been with us, she had done these things:

1. Told my brother's maid that I only gave her soy sauce and brown sugar for her ulam. OMG. Can someone please visit our house, look at our chubby maid and tell me if she looks malnourished?!?

2. Ran away one Friday night then had the gall to come back Saturday morning. Why? Because she had a fever, and I only gave her two Biogesic pills daw. I should've given more. I am so selfish daw. Again, OMG.

3. Bleached the Daphne linens Mike gave me for my birthday. Bleached!!! Php 5t++ worth of blue green linens, now with streaks of white!! Oh happy, happy, joy, joy!!!

4. Used our comforter and pillowcases!! Coz you know, she feels she's part of this family that feeds her nothing but soy sauce and sugar.

5. Eats our stuff. This is actually okay lang with me. I had no problem with previous maids doing this. But hey, diba we give her only sugar and soy sauce? So panindigan nya. Magpapayat naman sya para maging believable diba.

6. SMOKES!! Enough said!!

7. Took my stuff. I discovered this when I got suspicious because things in our room started disappearing.

And now, her latest gift -- a moth infestation. She had the bright idea of taking our sala's area rug and storing it downstairs. I didn't mind. Until last week, when I wanted to have the rug back in its place. I told her to wash the rug first before putting it back in the sala. BUT, since she feels she's smarter and better than me, she put it back without washing it.

So now, we have moths flying all over the place. I plan to catch them one by one and put them on her clothes. So she knows how it feels like. So she knows the consequences.

Why is she still here, you might ask. Because I am having a delicate pregnancy, and I cannot do the housework. I have a yaya for Chloe, and I think she'd be willing to do some housework, but I do not want to overload her. It's been two months since we requested for a replacement, and still, nada. I have considered other agencies, but haven't found a suitable replacement yet.

Last week, because I was soooooooooooooo pissed with MFH, I spotted. I promised myself I won't ever let MFH's shenanigans bother me again. Days later, I see moths flying all over the house. I don't go looking for issues. The issues come running to me. It's like God reminding me to let her go. NOW. With or without a replacement.

OMG. OMG. OMG.

Birthday thoughts for the little one

2010-11-16T17:43:00.005+08:00

One of the traits that Mike and I have in common is that we are both practical spenders (aka barat). There are things that we highly prioritize that we are both willing to spend on, like education and health. For things not on our priority list, we try to live without them. Or if necessary, we opt for the most practical option available na lang.

Children's parties fall under the things-we-do-not-prioritize category. It was an unspoken agreement between us that we will only celebrate the first birthday party of our children. After that, celebrations will be done at home with our families and a few close friends na lang.

But that was 3 B.C. (before Chloe). Three years after, we find ourselves giving her not one....

...but two celebrations!

All it took was for Chloe to ask, "Can I puh-wees have party? Puh-weeeees?"

And all our practical, spending policies went flying out of the window. :)

**********

Some birthday thoughts for our little one, which I hope, she gets to read someday. :)

Princess,

During your Jollibee party, the host asked us if we had any wishes for you that we wanted to share with your guests. I declined. I'm not very good at impromptu speeches you see. :) That night, while recalling the events at the party, I did ask myself what my birthday wish for you was.

I wish for you to grow up with a strong sense of self, but you seem to be doing that all on your own, with little help from me. I wish for you to be humble YET confident,as I believe these two traits should always go together.

But my greatest wish for you actually has someting to do with me -- I wish that I can be the type of mom who can help you be these things I want you to be.

We love you baby! You never fail to make us proud of you everyday. :)

Boy or girl?

2010-10-28T16:02:00.002+08:00

This week, my hubby and I decided to switch to another OB. Reason being, our (now ex) OB seemed to have a penchant for caesarian sections. After searching the net for good feedback, I came across Dra. Pilar Lagman-Dy, then I remembered she was referred to me months ago by Sab. That time, with the morning sickness and all, I scratched her off my list because her clinic was too far away for me to make my monthly visits. Now that I'm feeling better, I'm able to make the trip with no stopovers and no vomitting incidents along the way.

So there we were, sitting in front of Dra. Lagman-Dy. After she computed our baby's gestational age (17 weeks, 5 days), she said, "Ah, makikita na natin if girl or boy."

I was flabbergasted. It completely slipped my mind that I read in one of the internet articles that Dra. Lagman-Dy, former chair of St. Luke's Medical Center's Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, can see the gender of the baby in as early as three months!

Early on during my pregnancy, people have asked if I preferred a girl or boy, and I would always answer that it doesn't matter to me, as long as the baby is healthy. Of course, we wanted a boy just to balance it out, but if the baby is a girl, okay pa din.

But at the back of my mind, I wasn't sure how I would really react. I mean, hoping to have a boy versus hearing the OB announce with finality the baby's gender are two different things. And I would only know how I really feel about it when the announcement is made.

So the good doctor did her usual routine, and after a few minutes, announced, "I see a girl."

I waited and waited for my reaction. I waited for that gut-wrenching, punched-in-the-stomach feeling - there was none. I was really okay with another girl! Wait, so I'm okay. But what about Mike?

Mike looked a bit sad for a few seconds. A bit lang naman. Then he was okay na din. We kinda had a feeling we were having another girl naman. Just that, some stupid fortune teller (highly recommended daw) predicted we were having a boy a few days ago. So that confused us a bit.

Then the OB started showing us her face. "She's looking at us," the doctor said. I couldn't really see her properly. Ultrasound pics confuse me. :) The doctor gave us a print out of the scan, which I stared at on our way home. And when I finally figured out the scan, and saw the black and white face staring at me, I cried. It was at that moment when I realized that boy or not, our second baby, who at this time really looks like a skull, is a blessing, no matter what other people say.

:)

Entering the 18th week

2010-10-22T16:20:00.002+08:00

I'm almost halfway through my pregnancy!!!

I keep telling Mike that this is the last pregnancy, that I don't care if it's a boy or girl.

Then the other day, I felt the baby move for the first time. And I seem to have forgotten all the projectile vomitting I did weeks ago. I love that feeling - of knowing that only the baby and I are aware of each other's movements. And I suddenly am okay with being pregnant again. HARHARHAR. I told Liza to slap me sensible when this time comes. So I'm giving her permission now.

So how am I doing so far?

I still have the bitter taste in my mouth, and I think it will be there until hours after I give birth. It was that way with Chloe, although that time, the taste wasn't as horrible as it is now.

I'm still throwing up. It comes and goes. So today I'm okay, but tonight I might be stuck in our CR having one of my sessions. :( I wonder when it will pass?

My boobs have gone up a size, much to my hubby's delight. :D Sometimes, I feel like I have pebbles inside - ang sakit sakit!!

Everyone who has seen me says my tummy is small for the baby's gestational age. I'm not worried. I think I will balloon up in a few weeks or so.

I love tomatoes!!! I love pizza!! I love Alfredo's steak! (I just don't like smelling the scent of meat searing on the sizzling plate while gravy is poured on it.) I love super super sour sinigang. I love paella negra.

I am super grateful for the people who sent food over to our house - just because I was craving for it.

Vivian - for buying carrot cake
Wenya - for baking carrot cake
Liza - for the sweet custard cake
MIL - for cooking sour soup! And for sending sinigang!!
MY MOM - for buying sinigang - the sourest ever
Ahya Peter & Minda - sending sinigang over (and the best ever sinampalukang manok!)
Audrey - for remembering me whenever they eat out at Bagoong Club. BC has the sourest and saltiest sinigang!! SARAP!
Val - for her input on the best pizzas!!

Yegads. I'm drooling just typing this post.

Oh, Chloe!

2010-10-22T13:57:00.002+08:00

Chloe: "I'm sorry mama...."

Me: "For?"

Chloe: "FOR ever!"

Hihihihi!

The yucky 8th

2010-08-14T17:39:00.002+08:00

"Please let me sleep some more. Please don't let me wake up.. not yet." This is the prayer I say every morning.

Not really a happy way to start the day, no?

I think I'm the saddest and most miserable pregnant woman. :(

What a far cry from my previous post, where I couldn't stop peppering the screen with 'haahaha' and 'hehehhe.' :(

I'm throwing up all the time now. I don't have the desire to eat, even though I'm hungry all the time. My mouth seems to hate all food, and my taste buds retaliate by leaving me with a strong, yucky, bitter taste, which makes me want to throw up more. :(

I've stopped going to work, as I cannot handle the long drives anymore. Chloe is now spending the whole day with her yaya, as I have no energy to play with her too. :(

I can't count anymore the number of times I've told Mike to just have me confined in the hospital, so I can ask them to give me something to make me sleep all the time, with all nutrients and vitamins just injected through a dextrose.

I wish the first trimester will be over soon. I wish when I wake up tomorrow, it'll be March 2011 already. :(

Entering the 7th week

2010-08-05T14:04:00.002+08:00

During my first pregnancy, I wanted to keep a pregnancy journal to jot down everything I felt during my pregnancy. Sadly, I wasn't able to do so. I felt so horrible for the whole nine months, I had no energy to write anything down. I do remember sleeping for 20 hours a day during my first trimester - the remaining 4 hours, I spent wanting to go back to sleep again or watching tv to lull myself to sleep. YES, it was that bad.

I can't help but compare this pregnancy with our first though. :) I really thought that since each pregnancy is different, I would be spared from the horrible morning sickness this time. Well, turns out, I was spared for a few days (two). Then Monday morning, when I woke up, the nausea was there. Huuhuhuhuhu. It's so weird. I'm hungry all the time (so my stomach is acidic which makes me want to throw up), but when I eat, there is that weird metallic taste (which makes me want to throw up too). Huhuhuhuhuhu. :( BUT, I have to say that it's milder this time. At least I don't spend the day wanting to sleep just so I won't feel anything.

Last time, I would crave for siopao with asado filling. The asado filling had to be red. It CANNOT be brown. Hahahahha. Good thing Gloriamaris makes good red asado siopao. :) I also couldn't stand to look or eat pesto. Before I got pregnant with Chloe, I loved pesto. Once the morning sickness hit however, pesto became blech! I couldn't even look at it!!! Doing so made me want to throw up.

With this pregnancy though, what I crave most for is steak - thick, pink and juicy steak. :) No gravy. Just steak cooked in its own juice. I'm drooling just thinking of it. Hahahaha. But since a thick steak is so expensive, I guess a thick Brother's Burger will do.

When I was pregnant with Chloe, my guilty pleasure would be watching Ugly Betty. My sisters in law told me to stop watching, lest Chloe came out looking like her. Hahahaha. But I still sneaked in some episodes. Until eventually, I stopped watching because, believe it or not, whenever I saw the show, I would feel like... you guessed right, throwing up. Hahahaah.

This time, my guilty pleasure is watching.... uh... Spongebob Square Pants. Hahahahahahah! What are the chances that our second born will come out looking like him? Hahahahahah. In the past, Chloe would be eagerly looking forward to TV time with Spongebob, and Mike and I would be eagerly waiting for her to be sleepy so we can watch our favorites on tv. This time, Mike has no choice but to let us watch Spongebob in peace. Hurrah for creatures who live in a pineapple under the sea!

Miss Positivity

2010-07-29T13:33:00.003+08:00

Wheeee! It's going to be one exciting nine month trip! :)

Mean hives, a murdered tooth, and other common toddler issues

2010-07-21T20:08:00.008+08:00

Chloe has been taking anti-histamines for two months now. Her hive outbreak, which started in May for reasons unknown to us, refuses to let up. Once she gets off her medicine even for just a day, the hives come back with a vengeance. Just look at this picture:

Doesn't it give you the itch just looking at them? I hate them. Whenever they appear on her body, I want to gouge them out with a knife. I imagine those histamines as furry creatures, positioning themselves under her skin and jumping up and down to irritate her skin.

What are these anti-histamines supposed to do exactly?

Well according to her pedia, the anti-histamines will just suppress the symptoms. They will not cure or treat, just suppress. In the hopes that after at least two weeks of taking anti-histamines, whatever it is that is causing the hives will be gone.

It's been TWO MONTHS, and the offending agent is still there!! Makes me wonder if it's anything in our surroundings that is causing it, like dust, dirt, our detergent... :(

We're visiting a pediatric allergologist tomorrow. I'm really crossing my fingers that she will be able to help. I can't imagine Chloe under anti-histamines forever.

**********

Two weeks ago, Chloe's one front tooth suddenly turned a light shade of gray. At first, we thought it was just a stain of some sort. But when it turned noticeably darker, we panicked and brought her to the dentist. Her first visit. Yeeeesh.. Mike and I are procrastinators. This dentist appointment has been under discussion for months now. It took a gray tooth to hurry up the decision process for us. :(

Now, before we brought her to the dentist, I already consulted with other parents about what the dentist is expected to do with a tooth decay. Just so I can be ready and not be all emotional. They (the other parents) said that Chloe is too young to undergo surgery, so most probably, the dentist will just wait for the decaying tooth to fall out on its own. Okay.... that I can handle.

So when the dentist saw her tooth, she said, "It's not tooth decay."

WHEW!! What a relief!

"It's a dead tooth."

Uh... what again?

"Did she hit her mouth on anything hard?"

Mentally counting the days, my eyes went wide as I realized that this tooth in question started to gray AFTER she fell on her face in Zara Rockwell, while I was happily browsing through the array of discounted clothes.

After the realization, I wanted to bonk myself on the head. :( I have this firm, firm stance kasi that Saturday is our family day. So I (note, not we) try as much as possible to not bring the yaya with us when we go out. IF we had brought the yaya along, maybe Chloe wouldn't have tripped. IF we had not gone to the stupid sale, maybe Chloe wouldn't have tripped. IF I had been holding her hand instead of mindlessly ogling the clothes, maybe Chloe wouldn't have tripped. IF we had applied ice pack on her mouth right then and there, maybe the tooth wouldn've have grayed. If, if, if... all these ifs lead to nowhere and yet, I cannot stop thinking them.

"E pano mo naman mape-prevent yun?!?" Liza asked.

I know... but still. :(

I'm relieved though, that it's just a dead tooth, nothing serious. The worst that can happen is that the tooth will turn darker and darker until it turns black. It's irreversible, but not painful. But the good news is, we can paint over it! :D But we will consider it only when Chloe understands and agrees to it, or it becomes too horrible to look at, whichever comes first.

**********

On a lighter note, Chloe is finally on her way to being potty trained! Uh wait, to clarify... she only pees and poops in the toilet when she's with me. But when she's with her yaya or with other people, she still continues to pee on the floor. Does anyone have any idea why this is so?

Oooops...

2010-07-17T08:30:00.002+08:00

Whenever something in our bedroom goes missing, the first person we always turn to for answers is our dear, mischievous daughter Chloe. She loves hiding our things, especially those that matter most, like keys, car keys, expensive pens, and cellphones. :D Good that over the years, we've discovered her hiding places. So we take extra precautions to put these things in places where she won't be able to reach them. But sometimes we slip and she goes on her little game again.

So last Sunday, while I was frantically looking for my house keys, I asked her, "Chloe, where did you put mommy's keys?" And she said, "In (sic) the bed!" I finished turning our bed upside down and still no keys! But it's what she always says when I ask her. So I figured, she must be pretending to hide my keys even if she had nothing to do with the loss. But I still continued asking her, just in case she slips. :)

By late afternoon, I was exasperated. "Chloe! Come on, where did you put mommy's keys?!?!"

And she said, " You cry mommy..."

Thinking she was asking me, I said, "No, mommy's not crying. I just want to find my keys!"

"You cry mommy, and you'll find it!" she said, in a manner like it's a magic thing. You cry, voila, it's there again!

Oooooooops...... this can't be good.

But how can I blame her for thinking it?

I know most adults** mean well when playing with her. But usually, the game goes like this: Chloe quietly sits and plays with something, ignoring the adults** who are desperately trying to get her attention. So what they do is, grab whatever is catching her fancy at that moment, and hide it behind their backs. Of course, Chloe starts whining. But it is only when she starts crying that the adults** give in.

**adults = my dad and my youngest brother (bwahahahaha)

See? So how can you really blame Chloe for thinking that way?

I don't know if she understood me when I explained that that's not how things work. I've started discouraging her from crying to get what she wants since her mischievous revelation. And so far it works. When she starts crying for something, I tell her in a firm voice to stop crying. And when she does, I give her whatever it is she wants, if it's reasonable. If not, I just explain. She usually understands and gets it. Or sometimes, she forgets. It's that easy.

It's the adults** who will be a bit difficult to handle. :D

The escalator did it

2010-07-04T14:46:00.002+08:00

I recently purchased a pair of Havaianas blue metallic slippers. I've only worn it 3x this week.

Then while on an escalator going down, my dear darling daughter suddenly decided to sit on the steps, while we were only two or three steps away from the landing. Thoughts of Crocs being eaten by the escalator filled my mind, and I stood on the landing of the moving escalator to grab my daughter, who did everything her little body could do to remain seated on the steps.

And this is what happened to my brand new slippers:

Waaaaaaah! :(

Bye bye slippers. It was a fun week. 'Twas good while it lasted. :(

I almost lost her...

2010-06-27T16:59:00.002+08:00

Today started out as any ordinary Sunday would. Brunch before 11am, then my parents arrived to pick us up for our weekly grocery trip. I usually check out some shops before I join my parents in the grocery, but this time, we all went in together. My dad went his way, my mom went the opposite direction, and Chloe and I walked around with no shopping cart. We only had a few items to buy anyway.

An hour after, we all met up at the cashier. Chloe was being her usual malikot self. Running around, trying to see how far she can walk away from me until I call her back. I kept an eye on her the whole time. So while I was helping my dad load some of their purchases on the conveyor, I made sure that I can still see Chloe from the corner of my eye. When my mom went back to get something she forgot to get, I didn't pay much attention to her. Because that's normally how it goes.

A few seconds after my mom left, Chloe was nowhere to be seen.

I immediately went around to search for her. I started with the nearby aisles, hoping that she's just waiting for me to find her. I started checking each aisle one by one, shouting her name, hoping she'll hear me and come running back. NONE.

Panicked, I signalled to my dad that I couldn't find her. With brows furrowed, he whipped out his cellphone to call my mom. I tried fumbling for mine in my bag's pockets, but with all the worry and panic that was going on in my head, I couldn't find my celphone.

A man in a blue and white striped shirt approached me and asked who I was looking for. 'Anak ko,' I cried. He asked for the gender. I said girl. He got out his walkie talkie and, I presume, radioed his other colleagues, probably in civilian wear too, to look out for a little girl wandering alone.

I could feel the other shoppers' eyes on me, as they saw me, a panicked woman with a crazy look in her eyes, running around the aisles and calling out Chloe's name loudly. But I didn't care about the scene I was making. I just wanted to see my little girl in her white dress running back to me.

It had been only a few minutes since the whole thing started, but at that moment, it really, really felt like an eternity. With no signs of Chloe, I ran back to my dad. And I saw him calmly loading groceries on the belt. I asked him if he knew where Chloe was. He said Chloe was with my mother.

Ohmygulay.

After the initial relief, I unabashedly wept. :D The man in the striped shirt saw me crying, and asked if I had found her. "Oo, kasama mama ko." He smiled. I smiled. And wept some more.

A few seconds later, Chloe and my mom came back, happily prancing about, oblivious to the near breakdown they almost caused me. My mom said that after she turned around to go back and get whatever item she forgot to get, she saw Chloe running after her. Good thing she did! Because obviously, I didn't.

The thing is, a few weeks back, I had this thought about all the parents out there who reported their kids missing. How did they cope? Were the kids ever found? My mom told me this story of one mom who lost her son and later found out that he was in Hong Kong, arms and legs chopped off, begging on the streets for money. Urban legend? I don't know. But when I heard the story, I had hoped nothing like that would ever happen to us. The idea of not knowing where your baby is, of having to go home after an innocent trip to the mall with no baby in tow, is scary. I wouldnt' wish it on my worst enemy.

As I am typing this, I watch my little daughter deep into her nap, lying down beside me on our white comforter. And I am deeply, humbly thankful to the powerful being up there, that this day ended peacefully and happily, and that I am able to type this blog post calmly.

Maid # 14

2010-06-08T13:35:00.005+08:00

Should I or shouldn't I?

Do I include her in the count?

We fetched maid # 14 from agency last night. We got home around 10pm, and I showed her her living quarters, where to bathe etc. Then I showed her her breakfast fare, with bread and spreads. I asked if she drank coffee, she said yes. So I gave her a new pack of coffee, and even helped her boil her water to put in their thermos. After things had been put away, I asked her to rest and be ready by 7.30 am the next day.

The next morning, we awoke to the sound of our phone ringing. It was the guard. Our maid was at the guard house, asking to go out. I said no, she didn't ask for our permission.

So I went downstairs and asked the maid why she wanted to go out. She needed to buy bread. The bread I gave her, has molds daw. Flabbergasted, I went to her table to check. Nope, no molds there. Nada. Not even a hint of green on the loaf. So I told her to show me - where are the molds? Oh, no molds. But when she woke up this morning daw, the bread pack was in the trash can already.

Oh really?

I decided to let the senseless reply go. So I asked her again, kumain ka na? She said yes. I asked her to go upstairs to help me with chores.

She didn't know how to chop garlic and onion. And I have to pat myself on the back for this - I showed her how to do it very, very patiently. While I was cooking Mike and Chloe's baon for the day, she engaged me in a very awkward conversation.

Maid: Magkano ba ang sweldo ko dito?
Me: P________
Maid: Pagtapos ng 2 buwan, magkano na makuha ko?
Me: P________
Maid: Tapos, may utang ako sa agency ng Php 2t+?
Me: Ah, ang alam ko, utang mo sa agency is Php 4t+
Maid: Php 4t+?!?!?! Pano umabot ng Php 4t+ yun?

Then she proceeded to enumerate to me her boat fare, her lodgings etc. It couldn't have reached PHp 4t+.

Note that this conversation was taking place with maid speaking in Cebuano, and me speaking in Tagalog. She understands Tagalog, but can't speak it. I usually just try to translate her words into Tagalog and she nods when I get it right.

So back to story.

While enumerating, her voice kept rising. I told her that she signed for her dues in front of me. If she had any issues with how it was computed, better if she talk with the agency.

So to make a long story short, while we were waiting for the agency to call me back, I showed her how to clean our rooms. While she was cleaning, I took a shower and got ready for the office. I looked for her in the room where I left her - she wasn't there. So I asked Mike to ask her to come up and finish cleaning the room.

Mike came up and said, the maid is having her coffee break.

Huwaaaaaaaaaat?

I went downstairs where this conversation took place:

Me: Maid no. 14, anong ginagawa mo?
Maid: Mag kape muna ako. Kasi di pa ako kumain buong araw eh.
Me: Haaaa? E diba kanina tinanong kita sabi mo kumain ka na?
Maid: Hindi, nagpainit lang ako ng tubig.(San sya magpapainit eh wala namang stove sa room nya?)
Me: Alam mo, maid no. 14, araw araw pumapasok kami sa trabaho. Kelangan, habang andito pa kami, malinis na ang buong bahay. Pag alis namin, ikaw na bahala ano gusto mo gawin. Pero sa umaga, dapat matapos na ang trabaho bago kami umalis. Umakyat ka na.

So up she went.

Then she asked if I'm leaving for work already, because she wants to go with me. She wants me to bring her back to the agency.

My goodness.

I called agency and I don't know what they talked about, but she was crying when she handed me back my phone, saying she'll stay na lang daw.

NO. As Chloe would say, I don't yike.

I don't like having someone who lies, nor do I like having someone bearing a grudge (against agency or me) work for us. It's too risky. We're not home most of the time.

So we showed her the door.

So tell me - do I include her in my maid count?

She stayed for only 14 hours. :D

Part of me wants to, if only so I can win this game I'm playing by myself.

Another part of me doesn't want to, because the higher the numbers go, the more I think something is wrong with me. Mike suggested having a priest bless the maid's quarters. And I agreed. Can you believe it? I agreed.

What do you think?

NOT a SATC 2 Review

2010-06-06T23:31:00.005+08:00

When I watch movies, I almost always find a scene that is relevant to what is currently going on in my life. And in SATC 2, that scene was at the bar where Charlotte cried her heart out to Miranda.

Every word, every emotion in that scene, I had uttered out (well, YMd) in one way or another to my two best gal pals in the world. And to my hubby too. All of them understood. But I wanted to know if what I'm feeling is normal. If I am normal.

After hearing Charlotte say her lines, and seeing Miranda nodding her head, I breathed a sigh of relief. Somewhere in the world, I know there are women nodding their heads in agreement too. YAY!

I had a life before I became a mom. I had my own time, and my own list of things I wanted to do during my spare time. I had a very, very fixed idea of what a balanced life should be. I like having a plan, you see. Spontaneity was never my thing. I was never good at accepting changes.

And before Chloe came to our lives, I thought I can handle motherhood the way I handle other things - on a schedule. Once, I even sat down and wrote how and when our day should start, and what we should be doing by 1PM on weekdays, or 1PM on weekends. And I became frustrated. So many things that I had scheduled to do, I couldn't do. Because we weren't finished with feeding Chloe. Because we weren't finished bathing her. Because she didn't want to take her nap.

And these changes in schedule - I couldn't handle. Everyday, I was able to feed, bathe and play with Chloe, and give her a nap. Everyday, I was able to do things for her. But what about MY list? What about the things I wanted to do? Around this time, I started whining to my hubby and closest friends. I love my family, but sometimes, I want to do things for myself - am I crazy? Am I a failure? Am I a bad mom? I wanted someone to say yes, so that I can change whatever it is I'm doing wrong. But everyone said I'm normal. Everyone said I'm not a failure. Everyone said I'm a good mom. But I was so frustrated and feeling guilty for being frustrated! What in the world am I not doing right?!? Why can I not make motherhood work for me?!

And then Mike suggested I go out by myself once in a while. To which I vehemently said no. I didn't want to go anywhere without them. Besides, going out by myself would only make me a worse mom, right? After all, moms are supposed to love their children all the time. I have never heard of a mom take a break from her kids.

But every night, after everyone was asleep, I would think of all those things I wanted to do but couldn't because I was too busy doing mom things. I thought, if I can only have a day to myself, I would be able to get things done!

Hmmm... why does that idea sound so familiar? :)

So a plan came up. Twice a month, I will have a day to myself. To do anything I want. Shop. Bake. Surf. Dinner with friends. Spa. Sleep. And Chloe? She gets some alone time with Mike.

It's been two weeks since the plan was drafted, and I've been out twice already! Mike allows me to cheat too. On days when he feels like I'm itching to do something, he takes over my mom duties, so that I can get more extra hours to myself. Ain't that sweet? Thanks honey! :)

And I have stopped feeling guilty for wanting some time alone. Instead of feeling guilty, I give Chloe (and Mike) quality time when I'm with them.

So now, I have the best of both worlds. :) and I couldn't be happier.

Baby's First Movie Date

2010-06-04T16:51:00.004+08:00

Too bad I wasn't able to take a picture. :(

We wanted to take advantage of the four free movie passes from Citibank, which Mike got from enrolling our Meralco bill. The passes were only good until June 3, which was why we trekked to the nearby movie house to watch Shrek in 3D at 10 PM.

The 3D tickets left me flabbergasted at a total of Php 900 for the three of us! It's obviously been a long time since we last caught a movie on the big screen. (I save those big screen dates for movies like Avatar, SATC, Twilight...) So Php 900 minus passes worth Php 400 = Php 500!! But since we were there already, we went ahead and bought the tickets.

Chloe loved running around the theater. And when she sat down, the folding chair kept closing up, because she was so light! :) "I want to watch Shrrrak! I want to watch Shrrrak!" Yes, the whole theater probably knew how excited our daughter was to watch the green ogre on the big screen.

Halfway through the movie, Mike and I decided to move to a less populated part of the theater, as Chloe was giving a very loud running commentary of the movie. "There are three babies!" she said when she saw Shrek's three babies. "The witches are flying!" when she saw the witches flying.

Towards the end of the movie, Chloe had gotten tired of explaining to her parents what was happening in the movie, and decided instead to climb on all the unoccupied chairs beside us. Hahahahaha.

We did have a good time though. But maybe our next movie date with Chloe would be after she turns three. :D

Trust Issues

2010-06-03T07:33:00.003+08:00

In the three years since we started hiring, we've had thirteen (13) maids work for us. Some, who stayed for less than a week, I didn't include in the count anymore.

When well meaning friends and relatives (and parents) noticed how often our maids would come and go, I would always receive the same advise - lower your standards. If the work they do is below my expectations, just turn a blind eye. If they pretend to not hear me when I talk to them, don't say anything, lest the maids get mad and decide to up and go. If they get food from our refrigerator without my permission, make a mental note of it but pretend not to notice. Just so the maids will stay.

By the time we were with our 7th hire, I decided to listen to the advise. Never mind that the pots and pans aren't clean, or that they go out of the house in the middle of the night for some lusty rendezvouz with their boyfriends. I was playing blind and dumb - something I do not like doing.

For several months after my decision, the length of time they spent here working SHORTENED, from months, to weeks, to days. Harharhar.

Our 11th maid refused to work because she said it was not part of the agreement with the agency. Because, you know, as a maid, she's not obliged to clean, wash the dishes and do the laundry. I never asked what she thought she was supposed to do as a maid. She left.

Our 12th maid, after 4 days of working for us, wanted to go on a day off and wanted to borrow money from me, even with her unpaid dues from the agency. But thanks to a good friend who told me to be firm with money issues, I didn't give her the amount she wanted. She left. (Thanks Joe!!)

Our 13th maid, currently working for us, did this:

My hubby and I operate an online store, and for pick ups, we ask buyers to pick up the items from our house and leave the payment in a sealed envelope.

As I was opening this envelope last night, I noticed how there were holes near the parts where the staple wires are (check out the three encircled parts in red). The size of the previous holes and current staple wires don't even match. Who would make it a point to carefully staple on the part where it was previously stapled? And why do dut?!?!

So my hunch is - our current maid did it. The money is untouched, but I'm pissed that she feels it's her right to open things that aren't hers.

I decided last night, to stop playing this dumb and blind game. It's not working anyway - they just seem to get worse and worse. I pay the agreed amount for their salary, so I should get what I expect from them.

So this Sunday, I am asking her to leave. Even with no replacement. And I have to say, I'm so looking forward to this Sunday. :)

Happy 4th!

2010-05-25T15:40:00.004+08:00

It was our 4th anniversary last Friday. Four years. F O U R years. Has it really been four years since we officially made public our decision to spend the rest of our lives together? :)

We celebrated by going out to dinner at Sofitel's Spiral. Other people would balk at the thought of spending a romantic evening stuffing themselves full (yes, I mean you Liza :)). But since we looooove to eat, and we looooove buffets, and it would only be the two of us (no Chloe), it was an evening we both looked forward to.

During dinner, I cannot remember how many times I told Mike how differently I felt, not having to look after Chloe, or run around the place going after her. For the first time in weeks, I felt like a dignified adult. :) Well, it is hard to look dignified when you're running around in heels catching a toddler, or when you're feeding your baby with a spoon, and she pushes your hand away, causing the food to fall on your brand new shirt. It was a relief to be spending our anniversary with just the two of us. Don't get us wrong. We love our daughter very much. Just that sometimes, we need time for ourselves too.

So for that one evening, we talked about ourselves, reminisced about the past, talked about our plans, what we wanted, how we felt. In short, it was really a night spent just talking... something we haven't done for quite a long time now. And something I'd like to do again sometime soon. (HINT HONEY... HINT!!!)

No pictures taken of the food. We were too busy ooohing and aaahing the food selections. Sadly, the food was disappointing. Quality wasn't good. But, since it was our anniversary dinner, we will overlook those things and remember what it is that stood out -- the chocolate gelato. Ummmm... YUMMY!!! We did try to ask the brand of gelato they carried, but we were politely rebuffed. :)

Happy 4th honey!

P.S.
In our excitement, we forgot to bring a camera. So it was a camphone shot for our anniv date :(

It's MY day!

2010-05-09T23:22:00.004+08:00

When I picked up Chloe from school, she proudly gave me this heart card she made herself. Of course, with a little help from her teachers. :) She said, "Mommy, this is for you!"

I could almost hear the other moms around me awwwwwwing in silence. It took all of my willpower to not cry right then and there.

I never knew how much love I could feel and give.. until I became a mother.

Happy mother's day to all the moms out there!

Alive..and kicking

2010-05-07T01:52:00.003+08:00

It's been almost one and a half months since our maid left, barely a month since our yaya left. We haven't had any suitable replacement since.

It has been an exhausting ninety days of non stop housework.

Clean the toilet, clean the room, prepare breakfast, cook Chloe's baon, wash dishes, dry dishes, sweep floor, mop floor, take out trash, clean toilet, clean shower.....

By the time I finish with housework, I'm dead tired. Which is why this blog post (and some previous posts) are posted at an ungodly hour.

But, I have never been happier than I am now.

Happy, but tired, but happy nonetheless. Happy in knowing that my dishes and pans are washed the way I like them, and that my floors are completely free of grime and dirt. Happy with not having to deal with the maid's personal issues, which, most of the time, end up with them wanting to borrow money from us. (And me giving in, because I don't want them to pack up and leave. Stupid, I know.)

And most of all, happy to be getting to spend all this time with Chloe. :)

In fact, I'm seriously considering not getting a maid and yaya na. But Mike, the realistic person that he is, thinks that we should. I know he's right. But I just wish there was some way we could work around this maidless and yayaless situation and not be tired all the time.

A Sunday surprise

2010-05-07T01:40:00.003+08:00

Woke up one Sunday morning with this sweet surprise from Val....

After a looooooooooong week of cleaning the house, washing dishes and bottles non stop, and cleaning the shower and toilet, it felt good to be able to indulge with my favorite drink.

Thanks Val!!

One busy Monday morning....

2010-04-30T01:52:00.002+08:00

".... he is a malambing uncle to Chloe. He always finds time to play with her, despite his very busy schedule. You know Rich, you once told me that you are worried that when you become a father, you might not know what to do. I see you with Chloe, and I see how good you are to her, and I tell you, you have nothing to worry about."

~taken from my speech for their wedding

Scrambled Eggs

2010-04-27T15:34:00.009+08:00

One hot Saturday morning, Chloe gamely agreed to cook breakfast with mommy.

(1) Check out the I-just-got-out-of-bed get up. Animal print headband - check. Gold chains - check.

(2) While the eggs were cooking, she wanted to eat them already. :) I had to remind her so many times to let the eggs set. How many babies know what it means to wait for the eggs to set? :)

(3) The proud chef :) Pardon the hair. As I said, it was really hot. And my daughter is not one to let the weather dictate her outfit for the day.

(4) And because she cooked it, of course she ate it, with no begging from mama.

And one day, when she becomes a great chef, she can say during interviews that she cooked her first meal at the age of two. :)

One day at a time....

2010-02-06T01:37:00.004+08:00

Brunch with Val at Bannapple, Il Terrazzo

Some backpack lovin with Giant Dora at Megamall's toy section

The cracks on our brand new and FREE toilet tank cover made me cry.

But this one cracked me up!!

Our First Date

2009-01-17T21:42:00.006+08:00

Yay! We FINALLY went out for a romantic date last night, just the two of us. We saw Bride Wars, ate at Arya, and browsed around the Promenade's shops, HHWW teeehee.

I don't care how low the score critics gave the movie Bride Wars. I loved it! It was light, it was sweet and it was exactly the right amount of comedy I wanted.

And Arya... ooooh Arya. While we were having dinner, I repeatedly told Mike that Arya is my new favorite restaurant. His lamb biryani and my err... the name escapes me now, but it's a meatball dish, stewed in tomato sauce with eggplants and spices, were sooooooooo good that thinking about it now makes me drool.

Thank you honey, for the romantic evening out. We should do it again sometime. :)

My brother's engagement

2008-12-29T16:27:00.002+08:00

My brother Richmond got engaged to his fiance, Audrey yesterday. They have been together for eight years, can you believe? Of course, as with any other couple, they've had their own share of the ups and downs of any typical relationship. But they eight years they've shared together only made them stronger and closer. :)

To Audrey - You're my first official sister na. I'm happy to be an only daughter, but am happier now to have you as a sister.

To Richmond - Hay... FINALLY!

Ear Piercing

2008-03-15T22:08:00.001+08:00

It's been 4 1/2 months since I first became a mom. And I still have to get used to all this motherly feelings that I've been feeling. Like, I have this urge to kill all insects I see flying around the room, for fear that they might lay their yucky body parts on Chloe. Yes, I am that protective of her. Every red spot, every little bump I see and feel on her body -- I question. I feel like I have to do something about it to make it go away. Take for instance the night I accidentally cut her thumb with a nailcutter, I kept kissing her thumb, hoping that my kisses alone would be enough to take the pain away. Of course it didn't. :) But still, I hope she knew it was unintentional, and mommy would do anything to make the pain go away.

So with this overprotectiveness in mind, imagine my fear of bringing Chloe to the pedia for her ear piercing. I was actually torn between piercing her ears now OR later. Piercing it now = getting it over and done with but of course, being so young, she'd be unprepared for the pain. Piercing it later (around 10 to 12 years old) would make her be able to handle the pain better, but she'd be more aware of it.

What the heck, let's get this over and done with.

When Dra. Teldy shot (because it really looks like a gun) the first ear, there was a brief moment of silence before our poor Chloe cried in pain. At that moment, I actually thought of scheduling the second shot another time. I was afraid Chloe wouldn't be able to take another horrible shot of pain on the earlobes. But that would only mean subjecting her to another painful session of drilling a hole in her earlobe. So again, it was back to the let's-get-this-over-and-done-with mindset. I held her hand as she had her earlobes pierced for the second time. I would've done anything to absorb the pain na lang for her. But that's impossible. I kept saying she looked very pretty, but of course, as a baby, being pretty meant NOTHING. I hurriedly said goodbye to the good doctor, and left Mike to settle the bill. We went outside where I breastfed her, for the first time, in public. Never mind the curious glances I was getting. What's important was that Chloe nurse ASAP so she can soothe herself.

So here you have it, Chloe in her first set of earrings. :)

5th Year Anniversary

2007-10-08T14:50:00.001+08:00

I forgot to mention....

We 'remembered' the fifth year anniversary of the first time Mike and I met. I say remembered because there was no celebration. It was a day we spent asking each other questions like:

a. What was your first impression of me?
kt: You reminded me of a batchmate who's a nerdo.
mike: Okay naman. (Refuses to elaborate)

b. Did you like me immediately after the first date?

kt: No. Because you reminded me of my batchmate who's a nerd nga.
mike: Ok lang. (Does anyone notice the trend here?)

c. Were you dating anyone else that time?
kt: Yes
mike: No.
*****

Of course, we had talked about our first date so many times already, but it still felt kilig to relive it again. I still remember what the weather was like that day --with the orange sky heavy with dark clouds, and the heavy rain that followed. My dad kept calling my Nextel, worried that I would be stranded in traffic due to the floods. I kept apologizing to Mike. I was 2 hours late, and I kept interrupting our dinner to answer my Nextel. He must have felt I was worth the wait to have waited two hours! Hahahahahahaah.

8 months pregnant

2007-10-08T13:32:00.000+08:00

In the past eight months, I have:

..... experienced morning sickness so severe that I woke up in the morning only to want to sleep again until the late afternoon. Never mind that I wasn't eating anything. During that time, I seriously, SERIOUSLY, considered ending the pregnancy.

..... had to endure the (thoughtless) comments of people about my physical appearance. Boy daw, because I looked haggard. Or that I don't look pregnant at six months. I only looked fat. :( I knew they didn't have malicious intentions, but all those comments still affected me. One comment that especially hurt was this -- Sa lagay na yan, gumanda ka na? :(

.....had to move around using a computer chair with wheels, because of the extremely painful pelvic pain I had during my 31st week.

.....had to drink yucky tasting iron supplement.

.....restrain myself from ordering Starbucks' green tea frappuccino. :(

Now, with only six weeks to go, Mike and I are really excited to welcome Chloe Alessandra Uy Dy into our world.

We've already bought her new clothes and accessories. Whenever I see Mike preparing for her birth, there is this unexplainable feeling of happiness inside me. It's expected for excited moms-to-be to prepare for their children's birth. But when it's the dad who shows the same excitement, it's.... different. It somehow seems more touching.

Infanticipating

2007-07-25T14:44:00.000+08:00

I don't know if I've mentioned this already... but I AM INFANTICIPATING!!!!

I'm 6 months pregnant as of now. And I have wanted to write down my experiences, but haven't had the time nor the energy to do so during the first trimester. Now that I'm feeling better, I just can't wait to start recording everything!!!!

******
Had my first panic attack last Monday. Lower abdomen (puson area) started to feel painful at around 2pm. Didn't make a big deal out of it though, since occasional pains in the lower tummy are becoming more and more common everyday. A muscle pain here, a slight twitch there... I don't pay much attention to them. So by 230pm, I started walking around the office, hoping to get my mind off the pain. It wasn't so bad. But it wasn't comfortable either.

My cousin noticed the weird way I was walking around the office. I told him that with the severe back pain I had, PLUS the pain in my lower abdomen, I really had no choice but to walk weird. He wanted me to talk to his OB friend, Dra. Aida Nunez (to whom I'm really grateful). Normally, I should be able to call my OB, but she has this unspoken rule that if I feel anything weird, I have only two choices: go to her clinic or go to the emergency room and the staff will contact her. Calling her on her cellphone is NOT an option. She made that very clear, when she started erasing her cellphone number on her pad.

Anyways, Dra. Nunez said pain in the lower abs with backpain is not normal.... that it might be a sign of premature labor. That did it. It took me only an hour to drive from Bulacan to Cardinal Santos, traffic included. After a test strip urinalysis and some kneading of my lower abs, it was concluded that I had mild UTI, which causes the pain in the lower abs and the back. The pain daw was a form of contraction already. That statement really, really made me thank the heavens that I had enough sense to go to the hospital when I started to feel uncomfortable. If I wasn't pregnant, I would have thought nothing of the pain and waited for it to go away on its own.

Good to be back

2006-10-13T22:12:00.000+08:00

Ahh... it's good to be back.

I so missed blogging. I can't believe the last post I had was written before the wedding. So many things have happened since then. Will post honeymoon and wedding pics soon. :)

Anyways, after months of not getting a maid (by choice), I finally succumbed to the pressure (all from my mom) and agreed to get one. Bing, the maid, arrived early at 7.45 am today. I interviewed her and asked her the basic questions. I was observing her the whole time -- how she answers, how she thinks etc. It is very important that the person I'll hire for the position (naks) is wa-is, as I will be training her to bake and to be my assistant for Delici. I told her she'll be alone for most part of the day -- she said she had no problem with it. So she was hired.

When I got home around 7.30 pm, I checked on Bing to see if she was doing okay. You see, the maid's quarter is a unit all by itself on the ground floor. When she saw me, she said, "Ma'm, di ko po pala kaya," with matching stretching of the shoulders and neck, as if to emphasize how tired she was the whole day. Tired? All I asked her to do was to wash the breakfast dishes , all two of them. In the end, she admitted that she felt lonely being alone the whole day. So by 7.45 pm, she was out of the house.

Although I have been very insistent and not to mention, stubborn with my mom about wanting to NOT get a maid, I have to admit that I felt really excited and relieved to have one today. I was soooooo looking forward to not having to wash the dishes anymore.

Oh well, who's next?

The Procrastinator

2006-04-10T21:49:00.000+08:00

Yeah, this post's title sounds like an action movie.

Which is exactly what is happening to our wedding preps lately. Why oh why are there so many last minute things to do? We only have a few weeks to go, and everyday, new things to do are thought of and listed and categorized and delegated and followed up and..... waaaaaah!!!

So instead of sulking and whining about it, which I usually do, I tried to come up with possible solutions to my procrastinating problem.

I now have a notebook, that has everything I need to know about the status of wedding preps. And house preps. And honeymoon preps. Things I need to buy..like cosmetics I researched for hours on the net (I didn't even know what a cosmetic junkie I was till last Saturday) and other ketseng stuff.

But I felt I needed something more. I needed someone who can keep track of each supplier's work status. I needed someone who can haggle with my suppliers for better deals. I needed someone to sweat the small stuff for me.

Which is why I FINALLY hired a coordinator!!!

YAY! YAY! YAY!!

Finally, someone I can order around without feeling guilty.

And I'm meeting her tomorrow. I already have a list of to dos ready for her!!!

:)

Our pre-nups!

2006-03-25T22:53:00.000+08:00

It took two months before we FINALLY decided on a pre-nup location. I came across Ninoy Aquino Parks and Wildlife while reading through the posts in W@W. But I was disheartened when I saw the park's facade along Quezon Avenue. Mint green walls, with the bottom part carpeted with eewy moss. It looked more like a jungle than a park. So after more research, we discovered a better and prettier place -- The Orchidarium. But we were told that The Orchidarium will charge an entrance / pre-nup picture taking fee of around P1500 to P2000 since we won't be having our reception there. :( Since we didn't want to pay that much for the pre-nup location, we decided to settle for Parks and Wildlife.

It came as a pleasant surprise to me (us) when, upon entering the park, we saw that it wasn't so bad at all. There were families enjoying picnics, and couples snuggled up to each other, whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears. Sayang nga lang, because the park was not so well maintained. Grasses were not trimmed well, and the pond was in dire need of a community cleaning project. Still, with the help of our photographer, Gie, our pictures came out beautifully :) The photo shoot was awkward at first, with people staring at us while we posed for the camera. We eventually loosened up, and by the end of the session, I felt like I was a model on a commercial shoot. Hehehehe. Some of the kids even thought that we were models. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Here are some of our pre-nup pics :)

My brother thought some of the pics were taken inside a studio no! He thought they were backdrops. He couldn't believe that such a place existed, right here in the Metro.

59 days to go....

2006-03-23T19:31:00.000+08:00

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. We have only 59 days to go before I officially become Mrs. Michael Dy. :) I haven't blogged about anything significant about the wedding preps. But a year from now, it would be fun to look back and see just how harassed I was with the wedding preparation. It's all I can talk about lately.

Admittedly, I am a "ranty" person, as Rory has confirmed. :) But surprisingly, I don't have much to rant about with our suppliers (crosses fingers). So far, so good. Except for one. Okay, okay. Except for two. That's it!! Pramis. I will rant about them AFTER the wedding. That way, they cannot sabotage our day, assuming they read my blog hehe. And I will have a basis for whatever stuff I say about them.

The honeymoon preps are ongoing too. First step -- apply for a UK visa. We are going to Europe on our own!!! Good luck with me, Mike! Hahahaa!!! Actually, it took us some time before finally deciding to go to Europe by ourselves (without joining a tour group). And one of the MAJOR factors we had to consider was my.... er... temper. Hehehehe. As wysgal said, there are two types of travellers. One is the type with a fixed schedule of where to go and what to do. The other is the come what may type of traveller. I am quite sure I belong to the first group. How do I know this? Because as early as now, I already know which train departs at what time so that we can arrive at our destination at a specific time. And knowing how I like everything scheduled, I know I WILL throw a hissy fit if we do not go by our itinerary. Mike, on the other hand, belongs to the second group -- the come what may type of traveller. Aaaah... this is what people meant when they said marriage is all about adjustments. :) So as early as now, I am preparing myself for the chance that things might not go exactly as planned.

Aside from the honeymoon research, we have also been going on furniture and appliance hunting. Funny.... when we went out on dates before, it was always a moviehouse-window shopping-dinner type of date. But now, it's a furniture shopping type of date. We ALWAYS pass by the numerous furniture stalls in Market! Market! and Greenhills Shopping Center, where we actually had a crash course on the different kinds of wood available to local furniture makers. There are the rodents' favorite type of wood -- gemolina. Then there's kamagong, which is really sooooooo beautiful. Then the uber heavy yakal. Then there is the elegant narra. Before, when we looked at furnitures, we would just ooh and aah at the nice designs and say, "Uy ang ganda oh!" But now, when we check out furniture, we knock on the wood, carry them, check out the woodgrains and the finish, look at them from an angle to check for masilya. We're almost wood connoiseurs now. Hahahaha...

We'll be having our pre-nup pics taken tomorrow. Wish us luck!

Crash

2006-03-06T19:40:00.000+08:00

I loved this movie when I saw it in the theaters. I loved it so much that I insisted that my brothers and cousins watch it with me again at home. And even with the blurry version that we had, all eyes were on the tv, especially the part where we all thought that the bullet would hit the Iranian guy's daughter.

Yeah, I think I already posted my praises for this movie somewhere in this blog.

But I'm just happy that the movie "pulled off one of the biggest upsets in Academy Awards history." :)

CANA seminar

2006-01-22T20:09:00.000+08:00

One of the things that Mike and I agree on is that we are both shy people.

Which is why we considered just bribing the secretary of the SSA to avoid having to attend the CANA (kay-na) seminar. I imagined that the seminar would work this way -- all attendees would have to sit in a circle, and take turns sharing their experiences (as bf-gf) to everybody in the room. Why would we want to do that? Those people are strangers to us! Ugh.... no way.

Well, bribing was out of the question. The secretary had a reputation for being masungit and mataray. We didn't want to risk losing our reservations just in case she's not too pleased with the bribing and all. :0

So we had no choice but to attend.

I have to say, attending the CANA seminar is one of the best things that ever happened to us. There was none of that uncomfortable group sharing. Well, there was the introductory part where we had to stand in front of the group and introduce ourselves, then tell the group what endearing qualities our partner possessed. Har. We don't even do that in private no! :) Everything went smoothly after that.

I know Mike hates all the mushy and heart-to-heart talks, but I really appreciated the fact that he answered the questions sincerely. It's different to just have an idea of how Mike feels about certain issues, than to actually hear him say how he really feels. Some of his answers left me weak in the knees. Some brought tears to my eyes (not a difficult task for him -- with my PMS and all). Bottom line -- I'm more in love with him than ever. And I'm very happy that it's him I'll be spending the rest of my life with.

On the lighter side of things...

1. Being in ADMU brought back so many memories. I wanted to revisit the bench where my college barkada used to hang out. I wanted to walk in Bel field, and to go to the caf. And to the Mgt. dept. Ahhh.... my heart will be forever Blue.

2. There was a beagle tied to a cage near the CEFAM building. She is sooooo adorable. Mike took pics of her. We visited her every break time. Will post her pic when Mike sends them.

3. For 20 ++ years, I had been mispronouncing the word awry. That, among other things. Hehe.

Another Starbucks post

2006-01-09T21:11:00.000+08:00

I bought Audrey a cute tumbler from Starbucks. It's the stainless kind, so the smell of the coffee doesn't linger on the insides of the tumbler. To my surprise, the barista told me that I can have a drink, on the house! It goes with the tumbler daw.

I have been craving.. as in really craving, for hazelnut green tea frappuccino since last week. I couldn't have it last Friday, because I didn't have money with me. I couldn't have it last Saturday, because I was already full from the party I went to with Mike, and I couldn't have it last Sunday because I stayed home to work. So you see, the desire for that calorie-laden beverage has really built up, :0

I ordered the grande, hazelnut green tea frappuccino, with whipped cream. Yummmmm.... I ordered it around 9:30 a.m. I was halfway with it by 11:00 a.m., and realized I couldn't finish it by lunch time. So it sat on my desk until 2:00 p.m. By 6pm, I realized that Starbucks's green tea frappuccino really contains green tea pala no? My hands were shaking by then (due to the caffeine overload) and I had a really, really big headache (which ALWAYS happens after caffeine overload).

*sigh* Wala lang. :)

Something New

2006-01-05T16:06:00.000+08:00

I started the year by using the voucher from Starbucks, which came with the planner. :) And, because I wanted to try something different, I ordered their Caramel Macchiato -- a big change for me, considering that all I ever order from Starbucks is their Green Tea Frappuccino. And the red cups, because they're required. :)

Anyways, 2005 was a very busy year, and a very eventful one at that. So many things, both good and bad, happened. I've learned the lessons I needed to learn, and I'm looking forward to 2006 -- which promises to be even more hectic and exciting than 2005.

As for wedding preps, we're now feeling the pressure. The last time I checked, parang 9 months to go pa. How come we now have only 4.5 months to go? Where did the other 4.5 months go? Aiya.

So now, we're cramming with the strings, the event stylist and the entourage. Take not, I haven't decided on a motiff yet. Harharhar. I really, really can't decide whether to go for champagne pink, aqua and lime green, or tiffany blue? Orange is definitely out of the question -- I really don't like the color.

Just thinking of the things I need to do is giving me a nervous breakdown. How I wish there's a detailed checklist of all the things that need to be done, together with timeline etc. I bet, if somebody came up with that, it'll be a hit with brides-to-be.

Delici

2005-11-25T00:41:00.000+08:00

I just had a crappy day. Office work just kept piling up. I had some issues with one of our sales reps. I am typing with a burnt finger, courtesy of my oven that seems to have a mind of its own. Aside from that, I just burnt half of the 80++ cookies that I baked tonight.

But I can't stop smiling. :) :)

Because of this post -- "http://dessertcomesfirst.blogspot.com/2005/11/for-cookie-monster-in-you.html"

:)

Wedding theme

2005-11-11T00:25:00.000+08:00

For several days now, I have been racking my brain for a really good theme for the wedding. It has to be something that is relevant to both of us. And I'm slowly realizing that Mike and I are one boring couple. Why? We-ell, these were the only themes I could think of:

80's theme
I remember how the song "Walking on Sunshine" kept playing on Mike's radio when we were still dating. That, and "Just Got Lucky." Hmmm... maybe he was already trying to tell me something back then. Hehe. I love the 80's music. So does he. If we go with the 80's theme, of course the music played would all be from that decade. And the gowns can be designed in accordance with the 80's theme too!! Shiny satin gowns with puffed sleeves! And let us not forget -- the hair and make-up! Colorful blue eyeshadow with teased bangs, held in place with a can of Aqua spraynet! HAHAHA! (Val! Val? Don't back out!) And my bridal bouquet will be almost as tall as me. Does anyone remember those? With flowers reaching all the way to the ground!

Movie theme
We love watching movies. So with the movie theme, I want to give out "Love Actually" VCDs to our secondary sponsors -- our first movie premiere together. I would prefer giving out VCDs of the very first movie we saw. Unfortunately, our first movie together was Ecks. vs. Sever. Hardly what I'd call a romantic movie. Plus some flavored popcorn and gummi bears in one box. Plus two movie tickets to Ayala cinemas, which is where we usually watch movies. Para ready to go to the movies talaga! And then only movie soundtracks will be played throughout the whole evening. Tables will have movie titles instead of numbers. And then our AVP will look like a trailer for a movie. Hihihi! I'm getting all excited just thinking of it.

Everything sweet theme
To celebrate the sweetness of our love.. hahahahaha! Okay.. I know it's cheesy. But guests will bring home cookies from Delici, plus a small recipe book of our favorite desserts. But the thing is, I can't think of any minute details that can contribute to the theme. Hmmm... isip isip.

Asian theme
For obvious reasons. :) The centerpiece will be a single orchid surrounded by votive candles. And then, shempre Chinese food -- that's a given. The cake will be oriental in design too. I know the details will come, but as of now, yan pa lang naisip ko.

So there -- four themes that are relevant to us, but not really bongga. I like the 80's theme only because of the music! But I love the movie theme best. Tell me which theme you think is the cutest. :) Maybe I can incorporate all of the ideas?

The past two weeks... in pictures

2005-11-09T22:50:00.000+08:00

Our engagement!

Hale and Cueshe in Metro!
I'm embarassed to say that I didn't know who they were until I saw them in concert. I know their songs, but I couldn't distinguish between the two. The "concert" started around 10:30pm and ended at 2:30am. I say "concert" because it was a comedy show with the two bands in it. I actually didn't think that I'd enjoy myself so much in the show. It helped that we had front row seats. It also helped that Raymond told the comedians not to heckle our group. So it was a lot of fun watching how other people reacted when they were singled out for the verbal insults. :D

Bora
Bora was actually unplanned. It was only finalized two days before we were scheduled to leave. I seem to be taking more and more vacations with my friends. A last hurrah before tying the knot.

Being the O.C.person that I am, I surfed the net on the best restos in Bora. Absent-minded me forgot to bring the list with me. Thankfully, most of the restaurants' names were familiar. I walked all the way to station 1 in search of Jonah's famous shakes. When I entered the restaurant, I plopped myself on their chair, and asked for their best selling shake. "Choco banana peanut," the waitress said. Or banana-choco-peanut ata? Yummmmy...

Look Ma! No glue! On the coconuts that is.

The Tight-anic!

Unexplainably excited

2005-10-25T18:12:00.000+08:00

Now that the engagement is over, I can't wait to begin with the wedding preps.

So far, we have only booked four suppliers -- the photographer, the make-up artist, the church and the reception area. The list has not improved since May. :) Admittedly, it's because I'm so lazy and busy with other stuff. Sometimes, I wonder if maybe I'm just a teeny weeny bit abnormal. I know other brides are planning their weddings down to what color bowties the food servers should be wearing. I, on the other hand, would love to just sit with someone and have them decide on all the aspects of the wedding for me.

But after the engagement, my feelings on wedding preps changed. Now, I'm excited to begin planning the itsy bitsy details. Can you believe we haven't even decided on a color yet? Mike left the color decision to me. I can't decide whether to have varying shades of pink, or lime green and aqua, or red, or silver and tiffany blue, or tiffany blue lang, or champagne pink. Hmmmmm..... This may take a while.

We went to "Weddings, Get Set, Go," the bridal fair held in Rockwell Tent last October 15 coz Audrey was there and I went to give her some moral support. Not that she needed it. Their booth did pretty well I think. Am not too keen on going to bridal fairs, as most of the exhibitors offer photo/video services, and we have one already. So while walking around the tent, I was elated to see that Manila Philharmonic Orchestra is now offering their services for weddings!!! So will visit them and check out their performances. The nice thing about MPO is that their rates are comparable with other popular string ensembles. :0

For the ballroom set up, Mike and I are considering Dangwa for our guest tables's centerpieces, since they tend to go unnoticed for Chinese lauriats anyway. Only the presidential table will be adorned with lots of tall vases with colored water, and lots of pristine white calla lillies. Eeeeeh! Then there's the standard ceiling treatment. The flowers for the entourage, well, I'm not too concerned about them since, really, nobody notices them anyways, unless they're really ugly. :) We're considering Lala of Interplay to do the ballroom set up for us. We also met with Jun Hen, but the price he gave us is just a bit higher than our budget. But, and this is a big BUT, he's not out of the question yet. Diba Mike? :)

Audrey will be emceeing for the reception, and she has volunteered to make our AVP -- FREE!!!!! Hihihihihi!! And Val will be making our cakes too, and she's really very detailed when it comes to the cake design. :) Fyi, she made our cakes for the engagement, and everybody raved about the moist and flavorful carrot cake. Yummmmm! Delici Pastries and Sweets will be supplying the wedding favors, so you now have an idea what the favor is. Mike and I get to choose our favorite cookies and share them with our guests. Mine is white chocolate. Mike's is anything chocolate. Hehehe.

Hay.... I always, always dreamt that my wedding... errr... OUR wedding suppliers will be mostly friends, coz I feel that the wedding is extra special that way. And I'm really happy that things are turning out just as I thought they would.

So that leaves the following: sound system, couturier... Wala na ba? That's it? Does this mean I'm almost done with wedding preps?

After the engagement...

2005-10-24T23:49:00.000+08:00

First off, I want to thank the people who attended. It really meant a lot to me.
Liza said that Audrey said that I cried during the engagement. Admittedly, I'm a super sentimental person. I cry at weddings of people I don't know, and I cry at PLDT and Jollibee commercials. My brother tells people that I'm super sociable and close to a lot of people, coz it just takes a sad story to get those tear ducts working. However, for my engagement, I honestly did not shed a single tear. I did feel like crying while walking backwards, coz all eyes were on me and I kept tripping on my dang gown. Oh, and the fact that it seemed so final and formal. But that was it. I texted Audrey to clarify, and she said she saw me sniffing. Oh... that was because I had a runny nose during the whole ceremony. :sheepish grin:

Eniweys, after the reception, Mike and I went to Ariel J.'s studio, where we posed for pictures for our album. There's just something about photographers no, that make you feel like you're a popular, international model posing for magazine shoots? Or am I the only one who feels that way when I have my picture taken by a professional photographer? "Ma'am, konting left pa... AYAN!!!!" "Ma'am, lean forward, smile,.. AYAAAAAN!" "Ma'am, tingin kayo sa mata ni sir... AYAN!!! GALING! GANDA!" After hearing comments like these, I suddenly felt like a professional model. Hehehehe. (Hey, I can dream, can't I?)

The first thing I did when I got home was.... eat. Nyarharharharhar! Takot ka na ba , Mike? :) The wedding is seven months away, still have a lot of time to diet and exercise. For days now, I have not allowed myself to have sweets and other junk foods. But yesterday, after I got home, all I really wanted to do was eat cake and sleep. And we had so many cakes! Courtesy of my very forgetful self. We had two big heart shaped cakes from DEC, and one big fondant cake from Val. Aside from that, we have a carton full of Mrs. Field's cookies!!! Eeeeeeh! They're in my room, all 5 boxes of them. I must really keep them out of sight.

Pictures to follow soon :)

Martha vs. The Donald

2005-10-20T22:56:00.000+08:00

Am a fan of Donald Trump's The Apprentice. It used to be shown on ABC 5 every Monday night at 7pm. They moved it to a later timeslot -- Monday nights at 10pm. Yay! I used to miss a lot of episodes because of meetings and other stuff. But now, I can be home by 10 and still get to watch it. Martha's version is shown on Tuesday evenings. And while watching Martha's version, I couldn't help but compare it with The Donald's.

The Boardroom
Donald Trump's boardroom is dark and intimidating, with heavy interiors and a lot of wooden pieces of furniture. Martha's boardroom has that light, airy feeling that almost makes you want to spend a lot of time in it, which, in this case, is not good.

The Firing
Donald Trump has become famous for his line -- "You're fired!" Martha, on the other hand, is almost apologetic when she fires the booted out candidate. She puts it in another way --"One of you will have to... go... home." After she fired Jeff (the first candidate to be fired), she even wrote him an inspirational note. :)

The Personality
Donald exudes an aura of confidence. I feel it even if he's inside the television. Martha seems unsure of herself. Maybe because she knows this is the first time the whole world will see her management style?!?

Anyways, I'm just happy that there are now two tv shows to look forward to. Also, Raymond downloaded the first three episodes of the O.C.'s season 3!!! I can't wait for Lost and Desperate Housewives!

Our engagement is just a few days away...

2005-10-19T00:40:00.000+08:00

Four days from now, to be exact.

I've often pestered Mike with this question, "Are you excited? Are you nervous? Are you having doubts?"

These past few days, I have asked myself those same questions.

Am I excited?
Of course! I can't wait to walk backwards hehehe. I can't wait to see what will happen. How will our two families interact? What booboos will be committed? This is an event where the focus will be on us and us alone. My brother actually wanted to steal the limelight by wearing colored barong, which I vehemently protested against. "You can wear it for YOUR wedding, but not for MY tinghun!" :) Ooops... our tinghun pala. Hehehehe.

Am I nervous?
Very. For the same reasons that I am excited.

Am I having doubts?
I've never been more sure about anything in my life. I felt it as I was staring at Mike while he was driving me home. We've been together for two years now, and we've known each other for three. I thought that the kilig feeling would somehow lessen a bit by this time. It hasn't. :) I'm not saying that that's a surefire way to tell if we'll still be together ten years from now. But I'm hoping that it's a good sign though.

Right now, I'm just hoping for the following:
-- that I won't trip on my gown
-- that my feet won't kill me (if I don't die of embarassment first, assuming gown incident happens)
-- that my make up artist shows up on time
-- that my make up artist shows up at all
-- that we won't leave any of the tinghun requirements at home

I'm getting butterflies in my stomach just reading this post.

The unexpected

2005-10-12T23:42:00.000+08:00

I was already sitting in Mike's car for a few minutes before I noticed this stuffed toy dangling in front of me.

KT: Is Cathy pregnant? (Cathy is Mike's sis who just got married January)
Mike: (smiles) Bakit mo natanung?
KT: BECAUSE! You're not the type to buy stuffed toys like this. So baka you bought it to give to your future pamangkin.
Mike: No, I bought it for you.
KT: Harharharharhahr.... that can't be. You know how I don't like stuffed toys.
Mike: Hindi nga! Tutoo, it's for you.
KT: (still thinking Mike's joking) Sige sige. I'll just buy it from you. Wala pa akong gift for my pamangkin.
Mike: (frowns a little) Ah ganon, my gift to you and ibibigay mo lang sa iba.
KT: Ano ka ba?!? Di ako naniniwalang gift mo yan no. Alam mong ayaw ko ng stuffed toy eh.

We spent around five minutes discussing the role of Mickey Mouse that afternoon. Mike insisting that it's his gift to me, and me not believing him.

Exasperated, Mike asked me, "Didn't you notice the pink box?!?!?"

Wha? Where? Oh there. There!! A pink box. A pink jewelry box. Could it be? I didn't dare imagine it could be. What if it's not?

I looked at him to see what his reaction was, as I gingerly reached over and took the box from Mickey Mouse's pouch. He was smiling from ear to ear as I did so. I slowly opened the box, and inside was the ring, lying on the velvet case in all its brilliant beauty.

I didn't know how to react. So I laughed and laughed, until tears started to well up in my eyes.

"O, isuot mo naman sa akin no," I said.

So he did. And then he asked, "So, what's the answer?"

"Ha? What's the question?!?" I countered.

Hehehehehe.

Yes honey, I like the ring. :)

Because she will never read this

2005-09-22T21:18:00.000+08:00

The more time I spend with Willa, the more I realize how talented she really is. She has never taken professional lessons in photography, baking, cooking or make up, but she really has a knack for all those things I mentioned. Whatever pictures she takes using our low-end, low-tech digital camera, the pictures always come out beautifully. The other night, she gave me my trial make up for my upcoming engagement, and my make up turned out pretty but still natural looking. And when we bake, she's very OC, paying attention to every detail. So her cookies come out all beautiful and chewy, while mine are... er.... okay... I have my Delici brand name to look after pala. :)

But that's not why I'm writing this post.

My mom saw the trial make up Willa gave me, and decided that she will give me a trial make up too. Now, my mom's idea of make up is -- the darker, the better. So, after our make up session, I looked like I had black and blue eyelids. We asked for other people's opinions, and they all commented that my eyelids were too dark, while my face was too pale. But to my mom, I looked very pretty and flawless.

And then she hinted that she will be doing my makeup on the day of the engagement.

I panicked.

How do I say no? How do I tell her that I don't like her style? My face said it all - lips frowning, eyes all wide with fear and panic....

"Diba gusto mo yung mukhang payat na payat ang cheeks? Ayan o, lagyan natin nito....," she said, while applying something on my face with a blush brush.

"Ano ba yang nilalagay mo?" I asked. When I looked at the mirror, I had streaks of brown and black running down my cheeks. I don't know what my mom applied, but I looked like I was going to a Halloween party.

I couldn't stop it anymore. The whole time she was making me up, I was holding it in. But at that moment, I just let it all out. I let out a big laugh, and she laughed too. We laughed so hard.. and it was something we've never done before. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. Tears of panic, tears of guilt and tears of joy. Because in all our 20++ years of living together, we have never laughed about anything.... together.

I feel so guilty, because I know that she tries to be a part of the engagement / wedding, and I just won't let her. And I have all sorts of excuses for all her ideas. They're too old fashioned. They're too weird. They're too magulo. As I mentioned before, sometimes, I think I contradict her just because I want to.

I told Liza about the incident, and she made an interesting confession. She said, that while we were growing up, she always thought my parents were separated.

Huwaaaaaaaat?!?!?! Why? When? Wha?!?!?!

"Because you almost never mentioned your mom."

I didn't?!?!?

I didn't notice that I never mentioned my mom. But then, during my growing up years, my mom didn't really play a big part in my life. Until I was in college, I thought relationships between moms and daughters were supposed to be formal all the time. I guess she had wanted to be a part of my life back then, she just didn't know how to. I was so furious when I learnt that she read my journal, where I really wrote down everything I felt about her. That incident started a year of silence between us. Looking back now, I realize that she read my journal because that was the only way she knew she could get to know me.

People always talk about walls in relationships, and I never really understood what that meant, until I looked at my relationship with my mom. Somehow, even when we were talking, I knew that I was holding back. And even until now, I can't explain what it is exactly that I'm holding back. Or why I'm holding back.

Now that I am just a few years away from having children of my own (I hope), my thoughts have turned to how I would be as a mother. I had promised myself years before that the relationship I would share with my children would be very different from the one I have with my mom. Ours (my children and I) would be the relationship that you see on powdered milk commercials -- where the moms are always made up prettily, with their kids looking at them and hugging them with big smiles on their faces.

The question is, would I know how to be that type of mom?

Another question, how would I handle it if my daughter was like me? What if, even after all my efforts to bring them powdered milk in my prettiest outfit, they still end up walking slowly towards me with a guarded look in their eyes? What if they act reserved, stiff, formal and guarded, just like I did?

How would I handle it?

*sighs*

Because I want Rory's lashes...

2005-09-20T23:35:00.000+08:00

Yes, I am jealous of Rory and her thick, long lashes.

I don't know if it's a Chinese thing, but I have yet to meet a Tsinay with long lashes that are curled naturally.

So when I saw Vivian sporting curled lashes, I asked her if she used an eyelash curler. "Pina-perm ko, sa 'Let's Face It'," she said.

There. Modern technology has given me an answer to sparse, straight lashes.

So the next day, I went to their Timog branch. I was told that the whole process would last for 1.5 hours, and I had to keep my eyes closed the whole time. Will it hurt? The lady in charge (Jessica) assured me it won't. So I lied down and welcomed the 1.5 hours of peace and quiet.

The first few minutes were bearable. Willa told me that Jessica rolled a strip of tape to hold my lashes in place, and used a tweezer to stick my lashes to the tape. I had my eyes closed the whole time, so I couldn't see what exactly she was doing. The tugging and pulling became a bit rough though, and for a few minutes, I was afraid that I might end up with no lashes at all. But Jessica assured me that my lashes were still in place. :)

It was when she applied the perming solution that my eyes started to hurt. Not stinging-hurt. More like how the eyes feel when they're dried out. I became teary eyed, which made it all the more difficult to hold my lashes in place. Even though I was told to keep my eyes closed, I opened them a bit just to check if I can still see. And when I opened them, the solution would seep under my eyelids, making my eyes hurt even more. So I'd close them again, and let the pain subside. But because of the pain, I would open my eyes again to check if I'm going blind. In the end, I decided to just keep my eyes closed. Otherwise, the cycle wouldn't stop.

After an hour, Willa came in to check up on me.

me: How do I look?
Willa: Mukha kang umiyak the whole day.

Great. Even with my eyes closed, I looked like I had sore eyes? Oh joy.

After 90 minutes, Jessica came in and removed all the gook and solutions on my eyelids. I asked for the mirror to see how they looked.

Hallelujah!!! I do have eyelashes!!!

The left lashes were more curled than my right lashes, because my right eye was tearing up the whole time, while my left eye was surprisingly unaffected.

Nobody notices my newly permed lashes, but I feel more dainty and feminine because of them.

I wish though, that I had chosen the lash extensions instead of the lash perming. Because my lashes are still sparse. Curled and pretty, but sparse pa rin.

Crash course in parenting

2005-09-14T18:12:00.000+08:00

I am, at 28, a mother to six children. Or an older sister, depending on how you look at it.

It's like a crash course in parenting. Suddenly, my brothers, my dad and I have to fix our schedule on who brings my cousins to school, and who will pick them up. The schedules have to be well coordinated.

But for their school enrollments, requirements etc., I sometimes feel that it has become my sole responsiblity. I have two cousins currently enrolled as seniors in an unknown highschool somewhere nearby. The responsiblity of getting application forms and checking their testing periods has fallen on my shoulders.

Yesterday, I called DLSU to ask them something about their requirements.

DLSU: Taga-san ba yung mga mag-aapply?
KT: Taga -(name of school here) ho.
DLSU: May highschool ba yun?!?
KT: Aaaah.....uhm.... opo.

From that single question alone, can I conclude that DLSU has never accepted or encountered applicants from that school?

I ask my cousin, "So, anong ginagawa niyo sa school?" And she replies, "Nagkwekwentuhan, nag-gigitara, walang nakikinig sa teacher...." ?!?!? Sus... they can do those things here at home. No need to pay the school for that. And obviously, nobody from the school handles the college applications of their senior students.

If there's anything I learned from living with my cousins, it's this -- it's hard being a parent. Either you're the cool dude who allows the kids to do as they please, or you're the stern adult who says no to everything. There are times when my dad vents out his frustration over my cousins to us. And I am tempted to ask him, "Dad, nung bata pa ako, binigyan ba kita ng ganong sakit ng ulo?" But I don't ask him, because I'm afraid I won't like the answer. :)

Maltese pups for sale!!

2005-09-14T00:23:00.000+08:00

These Maltese pups are cute (sob!), loveable (sigh...), and for sale (bawwwwwwwwl!!!!).

The puppy on top is Mickeyboy. That's him again in the second picture, looking straight at the camera. His father's name is Chickyboy. :) We have eight puppies in all. And it breaks my heart to have to sell them. Not all of them, but most of them. Either we sell them, or we take care of them. Choosing the latter would bring the total number of dogs in the house to 18. Which will probably drive us nuts.

I actually didn't want to name the puppies, because it's harder to let go of them that way. But of course, to distinguish them, we need to label them. There's Mickeyboy nga, and he's the eldest and the biggest. Then there's Bibo, who got lost in the second picture. Bibo because he wags his tail and plays with anybody who approaches him. So far, only two pups have been named. And already, I cannot imagine the thought of selling them. O.A. ba masyado? But I really can't.

BUT I guess I have to do the right thing. Any takers out there?

Delici

2005-09-05T22:07:00.000+08:00

Delici cookie pics! Played around with Picasa (thanks Daday!) and came up with these! Pics were taken by my cousin Willa. (Daday, the CD you gave me, I can't open it. Something wrong with my computer.)

Any comments and suggestions will be appreciated! Will post the other pics as soon as I open the CD. :)

A long overdue post

2005-09-05T17:48:00.000+08:00

The Birthday Post

It's been 5 days since my birthday.

Last Thursday, 20% of my loyal blog readers asked me why I haven't been updating my blog. (Hey, one out of five is 20%!) Wala bang bday blog dyan? Sawa na ako sa lumang post mo a!

If I were still in college, then the last two weeks would be my hell week. My day often started at 530 am and ended at 11pm. And the weekends, I spent baking for Delici. Looking back now, I don't know how I managed to survive. :) I'm just glad my hell week is over.

Anyways, my birthday came and went without much fanfare. Mike called me 12am to remind me how old I am now. Harhrhar.... he sometimes forgets our age gap. Then there was the deluge of text messages from suppliers, irate customers and well wishers. Client meetings throughout the day. Lunch at Max's Pulilan -- where their waiters sang a birthday song and gave me a scoop of ice cream with a candle on it. I almost cried. :) By the time I got home, I almost forgot it was my birthday. All I wanted to do was sleep, sleep, sleep.

I turned in early, but before I closed my eyes, I thought about how much things have changed since last year. How have I changed? What have I learned? How many lives have I touched?

How have I changed?
I'm getting married eight months from now. I now live with six other cousins, who, in reality, are people I barely know. We now have 18 dogs in the house. Yes, the dogs outnumber the people.

What have I learned?
I learned that there is nothing to fear but fear itself. Things DO happen. Things WILL happen. All up to me how I'll handle it.

I have learned that people who disagree with me aren't always wrong. They are just seeing things from a different point of view. I can learn from them too.

I have learned that I can get through the day with 4 hours of sleep.

I learned that there is nothing wrong with being an introvert. For years, my mom had criticized me for being one. There were the not-so-subtle sermons that said introvert = not going anywhere in life. And for years, I was frustrated with myself for not being able to instantly click with people I just met, the way an extrovert could. And then I met some quiet people, who were wise beyond their years and preferred to observe rather than be the center of attention. So now, I don't make a huge effort to click with strangers. If the spark is there, it's there. If it's not, then it's no big deal.

How many lives have I touched?
I don't know. But I know that the number is not big. So next year, when I look back, I want a bigger number.

Third Time's the Charm

I was pulled over by the police, three times in one week. First incident happened on Thursday, I was happily driving out of McDonald's drive thru in West Ave. when I saw this police car with a police man inside waving. I thought it just wanted to clear the traffic, but after a few seconds, I realized it was waving AT ME, motioning for me to pull over. I saw that if I stopped where I was, I would be causing traffic so I parked in front of their car. The police man frantically went for his gun, and acted like he was going to shoot me. Was so pissed! Anyways, the first thing they did was ask for my OR / CR, which I dutifully gave them. They then said that the photocopy was so blurred it was difficult to see who the car owner was. I looked at the paper, and saw my name CLEARLY printed on it. Pissed, I pointed it out to them. Not satisfied with the papers, they circled the car, sniffing like a pair of dogs gone mad. They checked my tires, checked the trunk, and then they said I had no validation sticker on my windshield. Question: Is it illegal to not put the validation sticker on the windshield? Even if I have them plastered all over the plates? They probably saw the stickers on the plates so the next thing they proceeded to do was to ask me to open the hood, which I blindly did. Ah ha! Things started to go downhill from there. They asked all sort of questions about things inside the hood. I was already panicky by this time. The two policemen were from the TMG -- traffic monitoring group ata or something irrelevant. An uncle (family friend) belonged to the same group. I called him up and asked him to help me. He knew the policeman pala. So he talked to him and things went well.

The thing is, if I didn't know anyone from TMG, the policeman would have impounded my car for baseless carnapping suspicions. I ask you, my five loyal blog readers, do I look like a carnapper to you? Ay naku!!! By the time the whole brouhaha was over, my voice had risen by a few decibels, and I was in no mood to understand their stupid reason why they asked me to pull over. Even more insulting was the fact that a small crowd of uzis had gathered around the car, and were all eyeing me like I was some sort of .... carnapper. I'm thinking of writing to the Inquirer's complaints section.

The next day, I was driving in Osmena highway, when I was asked to pull over... AGAIN. What did I do wrong this time? I still don't know, and I guess I'll never know. I rolled down my windows, and watched as the police approached me from behind the car. He took one look at the car and said I can go. WTF?!?!@*$!@) I think maybe he saw the seals plastered on the windshield of the car I was driving. But I would love to know what offense I committed that day.

And then on Wednesday, four days after the Osmena highway incident, I was on my way to a business dinner when I was pulled over for ... SWERVING. I was with our foreign supplier that time, and I asked him if I did swerve, just so I'd know. He didn't think so. So...

Police: Ma'm good ebning pow. Alam niyo ma'm, may mga kutsi kasing didiretso dyan sa lane niyow eh. Pakita nga hu ng lisensya niyow.
KT: (hands over license to buwaya in disguise)
Police: Ma'm paki labas lang ho ang lisensya niyow. (My license was buried under several business cards)
KT: Bosing, paki ulit nga lang ho, ano ba ang ginawa kong mali?
Police: Ma'm eh kasi how, may mga kotse hong didiretsow sa lane ninyow.
(Note: I passed by the place where I supposedly swerved, and I saw that the lane where I was driving that night was the lane specifically for cars who wanted to turn right. Crap.)

I called my brother to tell him I was pulled over, AGAIN, for the third time in one week. You see, I call my family for traffic problems because I really don't know how to handle situations like those. My brother told me to ask the police to let me go off with a warning. So I did.

KT: Manong, baka pwedeng pagbigyan na lang niyo ako kasi di naman talaga swerving yon eh.
Police: Ma'm, kasi how...may mga kutsi hong didiretsow eh. Akin na how ang lisensya niyow.
KT: Hindi sige ganito na lang. Papunta na dito ang tatay ko, kausapin na lang niyo siya.
Police: Bakit, ano ba posisyon ng tatay niyo?
KT: Basta kayo na lang ang mag-usap pagdating niya.
Police: (silent for a moment) Saan ho ba galing ang tatay niyo?
KT: Basta kayo na lang ang mag-usap. Papunta na yon.
Police: Naku, inabala mo pa tatay mo.
KT: Wala naman hong problema. Dyan dyan lang naman kami nakatira eh.
Police: (silent again, while staring at me the whole time)
Police: Bakit mo pa tinawagan ang tatay mo? Inabala mo pa. Di naman kita tiniketan ah.
KT: Basta kayo na lang ang mag-usap pagdating niya.
(Hey, I can repeat myself too!)
Police: Di mo naman kailangang tawagan eh. Pwede mo naman ako pakiusapan.

And there it was.... the tag line I had known was coming.

KT: Manong, kanina pinakiusapan ko na kayo. Ayaw niyo. Kaya kayo na lang mag-usap.
Police: (silent for a few seconds, then proceeds to repeat himself) Alam mo, pwede mo naman akong pakiusapan.

By this time, I had grown very tired of hearing him repeating himself. So I kept quiet and just stared straight ahead.

Police: O sige, nakakahiuya naman sa kasama mo eh. May pupuntahan ata kayo. Para di ka na din maabala.

Harharhar....

Tagged

2005-08-19T17:56:00.000+08:00

I've been tagged by val.

Three names you go by:
1. Catherine -- for HS friends
2. Cat -- for relatives
3. KT -- college people

Three screen names you have had:
1. katie831
2. ice_violet
3. periwinkle_room

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. My neck -- hahahahha! I think I'm the only person in the world who will answer this
2. my eyes
3. my wrist -- again, look at comment for number 1 answer

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. my thighs
2. my legs
3. my hands and feet

Three parts of your heritage:
pure Chinese

Three things that scare you:
1. ghosts
2. drowning
3. being caught inside a burning room

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. Cetaphil
2. lipgloss -- my lips get really dry if I don't put it on
3. wallet

Three of your favorite muscial artists:
1. Kelly Clarkson -- love her voice. She deserves to be the American Idol
2. Bituin Escalante
3. Nyoy Volante

Three of your favorite songs:
1. For your babies -- Simply Red
2. A heart needs a second chance -- 38 Special
3. A love that will last -- Renee Olstead

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. Respect
2. Good communication
3. Loyalty

Three lies and truths in no particular order:
Lies:
1. Karma
2. Blood is thicker than water --- hooo boy, don't get me started on this
3. Man is intrinsically good.

Truths:
1. Masasamang damo matagal mamatay
2. Money makes the world go round.
3.

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. Eyes
2. Teeth
3. Arms

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. Baking and cooking
2. Reading
3. Organizing -- anything -- closets, to-do lists, events, gimmicks, files, drawers, cabinets, my mom's files, my dad's files... well, you get the point

Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. Organize my desk (both room and office)
2. Clean out my closet
3. Work out

Three careers you've/you're considering:
1. Wedding coordinator
2. Doctor
3. Restaurateur

Three places you want to go on vacation: (PAY ATTENTION MIKE!)
1. Paris
2. Italy
3. U.S.A.

Three kids' names you like:
1. Kirsten Gabrielle
2. Charlotte
3. ??

Four things you want to do before you die:
1. give birth
2. start own business
3. be filthy rich
4. live abroad

Three ways that you are steorotypically a boy:
1. I drive like a madman
2. I eat like a boy (before the weight gain and all)
I can't think of anything else

Three ways that you are steorotypically a girl:
1. I can window shop all day.
2. I bawl out at the most trivial emotional scenes.
3. I am kikay. At least, I think I am.

Three celeb crushes:
1. Ben Affleck
2. Ryan Agoncillo
3. Luis Manzano

Three people I'm tagging:
Hmmm.... hmmm.... We-ell, majority of my loyal readers have already been tagged, and the rest are not bloggers. :)

The Countdown Begins

2005-08-18T18:06:00.000+08:00

Saw this signboard outside Megamall a while ago -- Digital Photography (or something like that) -- August 19-21.

Hey, something I'm interested in. Pero malayo pa naman eh. I'll just schedule it in my organizer.

???

Wetaminit! August 19 is tomorrow!!!!

I can't believe it. Half of August is almost over!

Which means, there are only--

... a few days left before I turn 20 again. :)

... a few days left before the berrrrr months arrive.

... one more month to go before Mike comes home!! (His stay was extended by another month, ay naku.)

... two and a half months to go before our engagement.

... two and a half months to go for the next long weekend -- All Saint's Day

... four months to go before Christmas!

... six months to go before Valentine's!

... nine months to go before our wedding!

Looking forward to all of those!

Haiku craze

2005-08-18T17:59:00.000+08:00

Rain, rain, clear as glass,
Said to be tears from heaven,
When the blue sky cries

A haiku I wrote in grade five. And now, because Val and Rory are posting haikus on their blogs, I posted mine too. I still remember feeling so proud of myself for making this haiku. See? Sixteen years later and I still remember it. :)

Doing the deed

2005-08-17T22:21:00.000+08:00

Jaded. Jaded, jaded me.

I went to Crossings to buy some last minute stuff for a cake I was supposed to make tonight. I noticed that there were only four cash registers open, so I went for the express lane instead, where the last person on the line left his basket and checked out some stuff in the aisle. I stood behind the basket and waited. The owner of the basket came back and smiled at me. I gave him my reserved-for-strangers-smile, which lasted all of... one second.

I placed my stuff on the freezer display behind me -- a jar of sour cream, two bars of butter and one bag of Kornets :) The man in front of me glanced at my items, and promptly headed to where the shopping baskets were stacked. Aghast, I looked at the other direction, pretending to be busy looking for some faraway item in a faraway aisle. Strangers offering to help me is not something I'm used to.

"Miss, eto o, para di ka naman mahirapan," the stranger said.

And that was it. No follow up conversation to sell me some insurance stuff. No pa-simple questions on where I live and if I'm married. He just handed me the basket and quietly stood in line. And he was friendly with the cashier and the bagger too.

I was still thinking about him when I entered my car. More importantly, I was thinking how stand-offish I had been to him. Maybe because during these times, it's hard to imagine anyone being nice just because they are nice. Usually, strangers are nice for a reason -- there's a hidden ulterior motive behind their actions.

The whole incident brought to mind that movie about doing good and passing it on to someone else. What's the title? Move it Forward? Pass it Forward? Pay it Forward? Oh well, whatever it is... I realized that it has been a long time since I last did a good deed. I remember how, when I was still in grade school, my goal was to do a good deed everyday, which I usually fulfilled by carrying a poor student's stroller up the stairs. Hehehehehe. Aaaah... life was so simple back then.

So now, one of my goals is to do a good deed, everyday.

I wonder how difficult this goal will be.

A trip down memory lane...

2005-08-14T23:11:00.000+08:00

The memory lane, in this case, is Hong Kong. The last time I was there was in 1996, I think, almost ten years ago. Okay, not entirely true. The last time I was there was last year, where we stayed in HK for a total of six hours only, so I guess that shouldn't count. Hong Kong has changed so much. The MTRs now have glass doors to protect passengers from falling down the tracks. The malls have grown bigger and grander. Most of the establishments we used to frequent have either closed down or moved to a different location. But our favorite restaurants are still there. There's the old noodle place with the bestest wanton dumplings ever. Then there's Cafe de Coral, with the best chicken curry dish. My latest favorite is their baked porkchop. I will stop with the food posts now, because I don't want to drool all over my keyboard. :)

Since it's August, the whole HK is on sale. Sadly, even with all items discounted, they were still too expensive for us. Tsk tsk. I remember before how HK used to be our shopping mecca because items there were cheaper. I see all these women in shops, hoarding shoes and lining up at the cashier to buy pairs of shoes priced at $299!! That's almost P2,153!! Am I just barat? Because I felt that that was too expensive a price for a pair of unbranded shoes. Cheap for me would fall around the P600-P800 price range, which means that in HK dollars, they should be around $83 - $111. Harharhar.

And the airport's check in counter in Central... whoa! Passengers have the option of going directly to the airport or going first to their check in counter in Central. Their check in counter in Central is enough reason to go to HK. There are two malls beside it that houses some of the more popular brands in the international fashion scene. There's Zara, Mango, Lancel, etc. There are a few coffee shops, a juice bar, and a gasp.... cinema!!!! So, if you have a long time to go before your flight, you can go there, check in, watch a movie, then take the train to the main airport. The train ride will take only 20 minutes.

Which is why when we landed here, I felt disappointed comparing HK's airport to ours. Upon disembarking from the airplane, harassed passengers have to travel down a flight of stairs, go through this (useless) footbath, which, by the way, creates a bottleneck to the main arrival hall, and fall in line for immigration purposes. If the passengers arrive too late, they will have to stand on the stairs because the lines reach up to there. It's like, the architect who designed the airport just designed the floor plan without taking into consideration the comfort of the passengers using it. Haaaay..

But, I will focus on the positive side of things instead. I am thankful that we had a safe flight. I am thankful for the bonding moment with my brother and my dad. I loved checking out the new malls. I loved the new food ideas we saw at the food fair. I am thankful for the brief 3-day vacation from my "new" family.

I would love to see Disneyland when it opens!!

Side A

2005-08-11T23:57:00.000+08:00

Side A used to be my favorite local band. In fact, it's the only local band that I like.

*Sigh*

That was until today, when I learned that Kelly Badon, their guitarist, left the group to pursue his career in the States. He's the second guy from the left of the picture.

It's not confirmed yet, but Side A already has a new guitarist.

I last saw him in an MTV concert last July 30 at the Fort.

Good luck Kelly. :)

*Sigh*

Pre-Pre-Wedding Jitters

2005-08-10T23:58:00.000+08:00

Okay, Nine months to go before the big day, and what have I accomplished so far?

Make up artist -- I already posted this before. Si Madge Lejano na.

Video/ photographer -- Ariel Javelosa.

Cake- Cakes by Val

That's it.

My list of accomplishments looks so familiar. That's because, I hadn't done anything since Mike left for China.

Gymmed? No.

Booked florist / event stylist? No.

Booked couturier? Nope.

Musicians? Sound system? Lights? -- What? What?

Haaaay. Let's not even talk about the upcoming engagement party barely two months from now. No preparations made for it yet. Haven't bought clothes yet. Haven't bought anything!!! And the tinghun dress, I had made only because my mom insisted on it.

When I think of the upcoming big day, I really, really feel the chill running up my spine.

I feel and know in my heart that Mike's the one. But, I can't imagine myself getting married in less than a year! It's like, suddenly, I have so many things I want to do. Like study abroad and live independently for a year. Which is never going to happen after I get married.

Scary, really. There's my biological clock, ticking away on one hand. And on the other, there's the list of things I want to do, now, while I'm still single.

And, living with my cousins has made me realize how unready I am for children. I am so not ready for the invasion of privacy. I'm so not ready to be the oldest in a group of nine. I'm so not ready to be responsible for choosing which school my cousins should go to. And in this case, I have my parents with me pa. They're the major decision makers. I'm the assistant only. With our own children, there will be no one responsible for them except Mike and me.

Ohmygas. Is this normal? To have wedding jitters before the usual pre-wedding jitters, which, I understand, usually happens minutes before the wedding? Whenever I ask my married friends and relatives what they felt while they walked down the aisle / waited inside the church, the usual response was, "Wala, noraml lang." So what is normal? Is this normal? Is this desire to delay the wedding normal?

Aaargh.

Crash

2005-08-09T23:03:00.000+08:00

It has been a long time since I last raved about a movie I saw. Come to think of it, I can't remember raving about any movie I watched this year. But this movie, this really is a MUST SEE!! I watched it with Val last Saturday, and watched it again last Monday. That's how much I loved the movie. Loved, loved, loved it!

I loved the fact that the movie delivered a strong message about racial discrimination without being too boring and too documentary like. It sort of reminded me of Love Actually, where the characters accidentally cross each other's path at some point in their lives. Except of course, that in this movie, the characters discriminated against each other at some point in their lives.

The scene which struck me most is the scene depicted on the movie poster pic above. For the sake of my five loyal readers (one of them had already seen the movie with me :) ) The actor who played the Mexican family man was very good in that scene. Very believable. Very realistic.

Ah basta. Good movie. Watch it, watch it.

August

2005-08-02T17:52:00.000+08:00

I'm always thrilled when it's the beginning of a month. Even more so now because it's August, for obvious reasons. Note: look at the countdown to my birthday. New month = new things to look forward to. As early as now, I have so many "projects" lined up already. Don't really want to list them down -- baka ma overwhelm ako sa dami.

The only bummer for this month is that there's a teeny weeny chance that Mike won't be able to make it in time for my birthday. Hay ya. I have to admit though, that I have been enjoying my weekends even without him. Not that I'm saying I don't miss Mike. It's just that, it has been a looooong time since I went shopping on my own. Well, last month, I was able to shop on my own, and eat out on my own. And I have to say, it's really a relaxing experience for me. To shop and not have to worry that I'm dragging someone along with me. To eat and just observe other people without having to carry a conversation with someone. It's not something I want to do every day. Siguro mga once every two months will do. Other people go to spas. Other people meditate. I go to malls alone.

Here's wishing everybody a fun-filled August!!!

Expectations

2005-07-31T14:52:00.000+08:00

A few weeks before my uncle passed away, my mom told us that she was already at that stage where she realized that everything in life should be ham-ham, a Chinese term which means so-so. She used to have a lot of expectations before, not only from us, but also from herself. But now that she has "one leg buried in her grave" (her words, not mine), she learned to stop expecting and just accept things as they are.

I began to wonder, is my mom right? Should this be the right direction to take? After all, so many arguments and disappointments in my life could have been avoided if I had stopped expecting things, and focused instead on accepting things as they are. On the other hand, without expectations, what would motivate people to take the extra mile in things they do?

Let's say I assigned a project to our sales department. Of course, I need to have expectations, right? I need to have a deadline, and an idea of what needs to happen on the day of the deadline. Without expectations, the project would probably never get finished. Or it will be finished, with pathetic results. So, in that aspect, expectations are a must.

But when it comes to relationships, should it be an altogether different ballgame? Let's take Mike for example. Mike and I are in a relationship. Of course, we have expectations from each other. I expect him to be this, and that, and this and that. But what if he can't meet all of my expectations? Should I accept things as they are? Or should I look for someone who meets all my expectations? (note: use of Mike as an example is purely for hypothetical purposes only :) )

What about friendships? I used to think that my highshcool barkada and I would be friends till the end. But now, even with all the advancements in technology, I find out that it's hard for some of them to keep in touch with the group. One is so busy with office work that she rarely has time to answer SMS. Another one threw a bday party without inviting our highschool barkada. Again, everything boils down to expectations. Should I accept that that's just the way things are? Or should I look for friends who'll meet my expectations?

I guess my mom was looking at the bigger picture when she said what she said. At her age, she probably realized that, hey, life is still good, even if all my expectations didn't happen, life is still good. Baka ganon.

In the end, I guess it's all about how important the person is in my life. Because, let's face it, it would be really hard to live life without expecting things from people. I have to admit, I expect a lot from Mike, because he does play a big part in my life. I expect a lot from my good friends, because they also play a big part in my life. So when they fail to meet my expectations, the disappointment is much much more than when an acquaintance fails to meet my expectations.

Then there's also the question on what expectation it is that they didn't meet. With Mike as an example aggain, I expect him to be on time for our date. When he isn't, well, that I can take. I expect him to be loyal to me in our relationship. If he isn't, that I cannot and will not take.

Same with my friends. I expect them to be courteous enough to answer my SMS. But if sometimes, they don't, that I can still take. But, when they do it so often that there really is no communication anymore, well, I guess it's a sign that the friendship isn't going anywhere anymore.

I guess I answered my own question. My mom is partially right. There are certain things in life that I can accept as so-so. But then, there are also some things which I cannot and will not accept as so-so.

How life has changed

2005-07-22T21:33:00.000+08:00

We cremated my uncle yesterday afternoon. After one week of going to the funeral parlor, I thought I would be unaffected already. By the time the Buddhist mass started, I had to go out of the room. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore, and I didn't want anybody to see me crying. Especially not my dad, and not my cousins. So I went to the corner of the hall where I was sure no one would find me and let it all out. A few minutes later, my brother followed suit. He was unaware that I was there. I guess both of us had to have some time alone, away from the prying eyes of other visitors who came to bid my uncle goodbye.

Haaay.... life really has changed so much for all of us. There are now 11 of us in the family -- my parents (2), me and my siblings (3), plus my cousins (6). My aunt (my cousins' mom) is still around, but her kids feel that she's not capable of being a mother to them. So they chose to live with us. My dad wants to adopt them too, because he feels (and we all agree) that my cousins will have a brighter future with us than with their mom.

So how does it feel like living with 6 new "siblings?" Aaaargh.... I feel so old. I feel older now than when there were only 3 of us. Kung baga, our bunso now is only 12 years old. Whoa. The age gap is so big, that I find it hard to talk to her. I don't want to treat the younger ones like children. I remember how much I hated it when I was their age and the adults would treat me like a 6 year old. So I try, as much as possible, to treat them like adults. But how? They're at that stage where they're not kids anymore, but they're not adults yet. I suddenly feel like a parent. The other day, I went shopping with my younger cousins for white mourning clothes. I turned my back for a few minutes to ask the availability of the shirt they wanted, and when I turned around, I couldn't find them anymore. I went into a panic attack for a full hour before Richmond found them in one of the department store's small stalls. While we were looking for them, I was thinking that I will strangle my cousins when I find them, but can they please, please come back safely first?

After what happened to my uncle, my dad has become more paranoid now. As in, really paranoid. When he learned that I was still in Bulacan (after office hours) for our company's product presentation, he called me every half hour to check where I am. Walang paltos. As in every 30 minutes nagri-ring ang aking cellphone. I understand how he feels, because I did it too. Today, I called my dad and my brothers constantly to check where they are. If for some reason, they weren't able to anwer my call, I'd call whoever it is they're with. Yes, my uncles' death has turned on the paranoia switch inside all of us.

The nice thing about all these is that I now weigh less than a hundred pounds. Yay! Yay!!! How, you ask? By forgetting to eat, sleeping late, and being caught up in a family drama. I'm giving it another week of intense drama and other developments, and I'll probably go down to 90 lbs.

Plus, another nice thing that came out of all these is that my paternal cousins (Ivee etc.) and I are now on speaking terms. The closeness is gone now, of course. But at least we're talking to each other. We have avoided each other during the entire time that we were there in the funeral parlor, but on the night before the cremation, we decided to stop fighting and start talking. The cousins lang. The adults are an entirely different issue though. I'm still not talking to them, and vice versa.

Hay, so many realizations in just one week.

1. If you want to lose weight, be a professional mourner. As in, eat late, sleep late, and cry your heart out all the time. If the surviving family has their own drama pa, and you find yourself being pulled into it, additional pounds off yun.

2. There are people who will kill for money, no matter how small the amount. Of course, I only read about things like these in the news so it never bothered me before. But now, it feels odd, knowing that my uncle died for a few hundred thousand pesos ONLY. I honestly thought that the people who murdered people and dumped them somewhere did it for other reasons than just money. Now I know better.

3. And there are people who marry for money, and money alone. Yes... another reality that I knew happened but never really gave much thought to.

4. A funeral is a great place to show the world your hidden talent as an actress. Hay pagdating talaga sa paternal relatives ko, I never run out of sarcastic comments.

I suddenly feel soooooo old.

Masamang panaginip

2005-07-15T07:13:00.000+08:00

Parang isang masamang panaginip.

Tumawag sa akin ang tatay ko kahapon -- nakatanggap siya ng tawag mula sa pinsan ko, tinatanung kung alam niya nasaan ang tatay nila. Alas-9:30 na ng umaga at hindi pa ito umuuwi. Tinawagan namin ang lahat ng ospital, at ipina-check din ang kanyang sasakyan. Baka naaksidente. Baka nalasing. Sana, may kabit at doon na natulog. Ngunit alam kong wala. Sigurado akong wala. Pagkaraan ng isang oras, tumawag muli ang tatay ko -- at hindi ko makakalimutan ang boses niya. Parang naiiyak na sumisigaw. May pulis na tumawag sa bahay ng pinsan ko, may natagpuan silang katawan sa damuhan ng Taytay, Rizal. Kung pwede daw ba nilang puntahan at i-identify.

Dumiretso na ako sa may Damar upang samahan ang tatay ko. Kasama namin ang isang family friend na maraming kilala sa gobyerno. Tinanong niya ako -- bakit ka sasama? Kaya mo ba? Ano bang gagawin mo doon? Wala. Gusto ko lang makasama ang papa ko, alam kong hindi magiging madali para sa kanya at gusto kong nandoon ako.

Halos dalawang oras kaming paikot ikot. Una, sinabing ang katawan daw ay nasa Taytay police station. Pangalawa, napakalakas ng ulan nung mga sandaling yon, at bahang baha na ang mga kalsada. Naunang dumating sa istasyon ang bunso kong kapatid. Tumawag siya sa akin, positive, tito ko nga. Ngunit wala ang katawan. Nilipat daw nila sa Krame. Mga gamit na lamang -- duguang ID, duguang relos, duguang sapatos at damit. Nanlumo ako. Hinawakan ko ang kamay ng papa ko bago ko sabihin sa kanya. At kitang kita ko kung pano nanlambot ang buong katawan ng tatay ko.

Dumiretso na kami sa Crame. Nag-antay kami ng isa pang oras bago ipina-identify sa amin ang katawan. Malakas ang loob ko. Akala ko, ang makikita ko, katawan na parang tulog lamang. Pag pasok namin sa loob ng morgue, di ako makapaniwala. Niyakap ko ang tatay ko, at dalawa na lamang kaming humagulgol at umiyak. Puro pasa ang katawan ng tito ko. Tatlong butas ng bala ng baril sa ulo. Sana, binaril na lamang siya at hinayaan. Ngunit binugbog muna tsaka tinuluyan. Hindi tao ang gumawa non. Hayup talaga. Pansin ko lang, kapag bangkay ka na, wala ka nang pangalan. Ang tawag na lang sa yo ay -- katawan o body. Ang katawan nahanap namin sa damuhan, hindi nahanap namin si (name of uncle) sa damuhan. Bakit ganon?

Habang tina-type ko ito, inaantay ko sa TV ang balita tungkol sa tito ko. Di ko akalaing ganito ang mangyayari. Akala ko, dahil tahimik naman kaming namumuhay, ang mga kamag-anak ko ay mamamatay sa katandaan o kaya sa sakit. Di ko naisip na ang tito kong mahilig sa showbiz, lalabas sa TV bilang salvage victim sa Taytay, Rizal.

Galit na galit ako sa tito ko dati. May isinulat pa nga ako dito sa blog tungkol sa kanya. Ngunit ngayon, hindi ko na maalala ang dahilan kung bakit ako nagalit ng ganon. Dahil madaling araw siya tumatawag sa bahay? Yon na ba? Nang tumawag sa akin ang kapatid ko, parang wala akong ibang naisip kundi ang mga good times. Kung paanong dati, tuwing Linggo, nandoon kami sa bahay niya dahil tinuturuan niya kaming magluto. Mga slides na ginawa niya ng libre para sa debut ko. Nang tumawag ako sa kanya ng hatinggabi, dahil hindi ko makuha kuha ng tama ang recipe para sa steamed lapu lapu para sa catering ko. Ganon pala yon. Maaalala mong lahat.

Tuwing gabi, bago ako matulog, nagpapasalamat ako na nasa mabuting kondisyon pa rin ang mga taong mahal ko sa buhay. Ngunit kagabi, puro tanong ang dasal ko. Bakit? Sa mga ganitong pangyayari, hindi ko talaga naiintindihan kung bakit ganito ang kailangang mangyari. Paano na ang mga anak niya? Anim ang anak niya, ang panganay ay 22 years old. Matagal na silang hiwalay ng asawa.

Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala. Pakiramdam ko'y masamang biro lamang ito. Na anytime now, magri-ring ang telepono, at sasabihin ng pulis na nagkamali sila ng balita. Hindi tito ko yung nakahiga sa punerarya ngayon. Ewan. Ganon ata talaga pag biglaan ang pagkawala.

Hinalungkat namin ang mga gamit niya kahapon, at lalo akong nanlambot at nalungkot. Naroon lahat ng kalat niya, na akala mo, walang nangyari. Papel ng mga dokumento, scratch paper, mga sulat sulat niya. Hindi ako makapaniwala. Parang buhay pa rin siya. Kagabi, para akong tanga, pero bawat ring ng telepono, naiisip ko, siya yung tumatawag. Kung ako nagkakaganito, paano pa ang mga anak niya?

Ano ba ang dapat gawin sa ganitong sitwasyon? Hindi ako paladasal, at hindi ako naniniwalang mareresolba ng dasal ang lahat ng problema, tulad ng sinasabi ni Cory Aquino. Gusto kong may mangyari. Gusto kong mahuli ang gumawa nito. Gusto ko rin siyang ipa-salvage. Siguro yon na lamang ang ipagdadasal ko. Na sana mapabilis ang paghuli sa kanya.

"Okay ka lang?"

2005-07-07T23:26:00.000+08:00

I told myself that I will never use that line when talking to people who just lost a loved one. I feel that it's a stupid question. After all, how can anyone be okay hours after losing people they loved? It's insensitive, I thought.

Tonight though, I did exactly that. Not only that, I made another bigger booboo too. We went to my uncle's wake, and B, my cousin, approached us, then she told me, "Cat, wala na si sa-i-tyu. Iniwan na niya tayo." I was so taken aback by what she said (you'll find out why later). So I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, which was,

"Kaya nga tayo nandito eh."

I want to kick myself for the booboo. Was I trying to be funny? Nope. I was trying to think of something to say because I didn't want to cry with her in public. Her eyes were swollen and reddish pa. B was OBVIOUSLY depressed and affected. Sabay I asked again,

"Okay ka lang?"

TOINK!! Ano ba?!?! Obvious bang hindi? Haaay. I guess I was trying so hard to cover up the tension in the atmosphere. Something I should not have done since humor during times like this is usually not appreciated.

The thing is, before we arrived at the wake, my siblings and I were discussing in the car how B's father's death would affect her. B hated her dad for the longest time. And when I say hate, it's not the aargh-I-hate-my-dad-coz-he's-so-makulit kind of thing. B hated him with a vengeance. Back when we still used to talk to each other every week, B would complain about her dad and the miserable life he had given them. So we were expecting B to be sad (of course), but we certainly didn't expect that she'd be so affected by her father's death. Which is why her unexpected line really came as a surprise to me.

Maybe B realized too late that although her dad did give them a miserable life, he was and will always be her dad. Maybe she realized that things had not always been that bad with her dad, that there had been some good times too.

I know that everybody will eventually go through the heartbreaking experience of losing their loved ones. Is there anyone who, when it does happen, can say that the pain is not as great, because they have prepared themselves for it? If yes, I would love to meet and talk with them, to find out how and where they got the strength. Knowing myself, I feel that when it does happen to me, it will take me a very long time to recover. I belong to a close-knit family, and I cannot imagine living my life without any of them in it. I remember during a leadership seminar, the host asked this question -- if one day you woke up and found out all your loved ones are gone, what would you do? Most people said they'd start a new life again. I answered -- I'd probably feel that life is pointless and wish that God take me too. (Bawas leadership points :) )

Sheesh, this topic is too depressing. Actually, this whole evening had been depressing. On our way home, talks turned to my parents, ageing and dying. I look at my parents, in their early 50s, both gifted with youthful looks, and cannot imagine them weak and gray. But I know that time will pass by so fast that before I know it, they will be weak and gray. And I do not want to wait for that to happen before I start showing them how much I love them. I want to do it now, when they can still walk around with me. I want to do it now, while they can still hear my voice. And I suddenly cannot wait to document EVERYTHING. I suddenly have this need to have a digital camera with me everyday, for those moments with them that I would want to preserve. As wysgal once said, "If you don't write about it, or don't take pictures of it, it never happened." Or something like that.

Star Wars -- Revenge of the Dibides

2005-07-07T12:13:00.000+08:00

I got this from everyday ambiguities site. Check it out. Good laugh guaranteed. :)

The Married Life

2005-07-06T23:33:00.000+08:00

It has always been my practice that before I make any major decisions, I ask people who have experienced it or are going through it to give me feedbacks on the pros and cons of whatever decision it is that they made.

Our upcoming wedding is no different.

I have asked lots of couples this question -- "How is married life?"

And I have noticed a trend in their answers.

The newly-married couples would say the following:

"Super sarap."
"Super saya."
"Okay siya, parang bf-gf pero living under one roof."

Those who have been married for quite some time now would say:

"Wala... masayang mahirap."
"Hay... mahirap. Kaya ikaw, enjoy mo na pagiging single."
"Mahirap."

Okay, why the BIG difference in their answers?

For the newlyweds, the sex life could be one. Hehehehe.

For the not so newlyweds, I'm thinking, children could be one reason. Financial problems is another possibility to consider. In-laws, growing apart, lack of spontaneity... all these could be possible reasons to consider why those who have been married for ten years have a different take on marriage than those who have been married for less than two years.

Liza told me that during this year's highschool graduation ceremonies (in our alma mater), almost 50% of the students' parents were separated. GASP! Samantalang back during our time, you could count with one hand the number of parents separated. Yikes. So ten years from now, the percentage of separated parents would go higher or lower? Whoa. Really, really made me think there.

Made me think of my parents' marriage. My parents will never win an award for being the sweetest couple. They don't snuggle up to each other, or rub each other's backs. But my dad will call my mom in the middle of the day to ask her what she wants to eat. Then he will buy whatever it is that my mom wants, even if the place is several kilometers out of his way. Or when my mom falls asleep while watching tv, my dad gently nudges her to wake her up so she can wash her face and prepare for bed. For several years, these were the things I saw. So it came as a shock to me that other couples are having a difficult time just being around each other that they feel they have to anull their marriage.

When I hear about separated couples, the first question I think of is -- were they not in love when they got married? When you hear about their fights and the reasons behind them, it's quite difficult to picture how things must have been like during the beginning of their relationship. Which is the scary part. Because there really is no assurance that a marriage will work, no matter how sweet the couple was initially during the kilig phase of courtship.

So now I have newfound respect for old couples walking near Baywalk, HHWW pa (holding hands while walking). I can only hope that when Mike and I are old and gray, the younger couples will point at us and say, "That's how we want to be when we grow old."

I can't take it anymore

2005-06-30T00:32:00.000+08:00

It's June 30, I know. June is not yet over. BUT, I just can't take this anymore. So, let me rant, please.

*****

My cousin came rushing into my office yesterday.

Cousin: Huwag na tayo magbayad ng taxes sa BIR.
Me: (Huh? Wha? Why? How?) Bakit?!? Excempted na tayo?
Cousin: Hindi, pag hinuli tayo ng BIR, sabihin na lang natin, I am sorry.

And then during lunchtime,

Secretary: Peter, may utang ka pa saken ha sa ulam (Our secretary's husband owns the canteen inside our office compound)
Peter: Ha? Wala akong pambayad eh, sorry na lang, pwede na!

Yes, this whole I AM SORRY thing is one big joke. And even if I'm looking at this from an unbiased point of view, I really couldn't see nor feel any sincerity in her words and eyes. Just three days before she came out with this apology, she was seen on tv, goading her opponents about choosing the wrong date to mount a rally against her. And then three days later, she's sorry? For a mere lapse in judgement? WTF?! She was merely protecting her votes? So I will still lead by one million? Overall? -- That's protecting her votes? And this after she claimed on nationwide television that the votes had already been counted. If so, why was there a need to protect?

Seconds after she came out with this apology, the tv screen showed Mike Defensor and Franklin Drilon, praising and lauding GMA for the courage she showed as a leader. What courage? I was glued on tv, and I saw only hypocrisy and lies, covered by a poker faced, self-appointed leader, trying her best to look somber and apologetic. And Drilon said the public should forget all about it. HUWAT?! I highly doubt he'll still say that had he been in the late FPJ's shoes.

And then the next morning, I see this article -- after GMA apologized on tv, her staff sang "If We Hold On Together." Some of them cried. Some of them were teary eyed. But they sang to show their support for GMA. Again, WTF?!?! Everything is so scripted! Did they, for a moment, think that they were in front of the cameras? Because I certainly feel that this whole Gloria-gate brouhaha can only happen on the big screen. See, I was right. GMA is really a second rate, trying hard actress, whose intention really is to make it big in the showbiz industry. Her CDs are selling like hotcakes. She's the hottest topic since the Kris-Joey scandal last year. Her posters are everywhere. Wow, she's a success now. A success in the showbiz industry.

Now, FG Arroyo makes the ultimate sacrifice by... er... going to the US. How? How can this be considered a sacrifice? And I really ask this question sincerely -- by going abroad, isn't he in effect, escaping from the public eye? And he will be back when the public has forgotten all about it, or when a newer and bigger scandal erupts, whichever comes first. So where's the sacrifice in that?

*****

What a way to end the month. I wish I can say that I had really been positive this whole month. But I just needed to rant about them online.

Blogging bits II

2005-06-27T21:20:00.000+08:00

Wow. I can't believe that as early as now, I am booked for the whole week. I have a company dinner to go to, which we organized as our way of saying thanks to our sales team. I'm actually looking forward to it, because of course, the atmosphere will be much more different than if we were having dinner at the office. We'll be dining in the posh Paseo Uno! And the best part is, the company is paying for it!! Yay!!

And our biz is taking its second major step -- we will be ordering plastic bags for the cookies. This might sound trivial to some of you, 'coz even I don't really notice the packaging unless they're really nice. But it took us two weeks to decide on this, so ordering tomorrow is one major step for us. :) Since we started researching for our biz, we have noticed packaging for Mary Grace, Mrs. Field's, Delifrance, Goodies and Sweets, Bizu etc. etc. Naks... as if we're competing head on with the big names na no? :)

And then there are the oculars for florists which I want to go to. There are two hotels I will be visiting this week, to check out the works of two different florists.

*****

I have been tinkering with Adobe Photoshop for the past few months now. Nothing major really. Just cropping pictures here, then adding contrast there. And I just realized last night how much I was enjoying myself with Adobe. I was trying to edit a label for our office, and I couldn't figure out how to do it well. I took a break, brushed my teeth, and while in the middle of brushing, finally came up with a solution. There I was, at ten past 2 a.m., brushing my teeth excitedly because I couldn't wait to go back to work! That was when I realized how much I liked Photoshop. I can't cross it off my list yet, as I haven't really sat down with a good Photoshop how-to book. Everything has been trial and error for me so far. Will probably buy one when I can really sit down and spend months studying it.

*****

Just saw The Apprentice's second to the last episode. Liza and I are both huge fans of this show. And tonight, I feel so bitin!! I know who's going to win anyway, but I just want to know what their "employees" said about them. Again, human relations really plays a big part in a company's success. I don't think I have ever come across a successful company where most of the employees are unhappy with their jobs.

*****

Mike's in China and will be staying there for a frickin two months. :( We just celebrated our 2nd year anniversary last Saturday (yay!). Ye gads. I can't believe it's been two years already, and we've known each other for almost three years now. It really doesn't feel that long. I can still remember what I was wearing the first time we met. (I still have them in my closet and they still fit! Woohoo!) Mike is amazed with how well I remember things. The exact dates, the exact clothes, what he said, the movies we saw. But my memory is good only when it's about him. He doesn't believe this, and I can't believe it either. Ask anyone from the office to desribe me, and one of the first things they'll say is that I'm makakalimutin. Harhar... Mike will find that hard to believe I'm sure.

My MUA

2005-06-23T01:41:00.000+08:00

*MUA-- make up artist

I just booked our make up artist for our wedding... yay!!!

Okay, okay. The original plan was to have two trial make ups -- one from Madge Lejano (the artist I booked) and the other one by Eddie Bruan. Eddie Bruan is also highly recomended in the w@w forums. They were the only two artists I considered.

Madge's package includes make up for the following: bride, groom and two other people. The make up for groom is a requirement. And imagine Mike's aghast reaction when he learnt that I booked Madge already. But I saw some pics from Madge's files, and there was one groom, who, after being made up by Madge, ended up looking like Ariel Rivera. Hey! Maybe Madge can make Mike look like Luis Manzano. Or even Ben Affleck! Even for just a day! :)

It's standard procedure (I think) for Madge's trial make up subjects to get their studio shots in Pictures and Profiles, so I had my before and after shots taken. My before shots looked like I was some sort of harassed woman running out of blood -- I looked so pale, with dark under eye circles. But my after shots... whoa.... those were the shots where I really, really fell in love with me. :) Narcissistic, but true. And look ma, I have eyelashes! Hahahaha!

So I paid Madge for the trial make up and left without signing a contract with her. While Val and I were on our way to the escalator, I said out loud, "Ano pa ba hinihintay ko?" I liked the make up, I liked Madge. Ever since I saw her booth in the February bridal fair, I knew she was "the one." So what was I waiting for? And Val made a very good point -- if I don't book her now, even though chances are I'd book her din naman, I'd have to schedule another meeting with her, sayang oras. That did it. I went back and booked her. Yay!!

So that's another supplier crossed off our list. Next one -- event stylist.

Prank caller

2005-06-21T18:14:00.000+08:00

0910-4091939 -- Whoever is the owner of this cellphone number has been sending me really lewd messages through my cellphone. He'd call me to make my phone ring, then hang up, then send the lewd, icky text message. It started around two weeks ago. I thought he would go away if I ignore him. But I guess he just really wanted attention, because the lewd messages now became threatening. He knows where I work, he knows I'm about to get married, and he also knows my name.

Hmmm... how in the world do I view this thing positively?

I'm glad someone really takes time to ruin my day?

I'm glad someone finds me important enough to text me every other day?

I'm glad someone is making an effort to know more about me?

I hate to admit it, but this prank texter/caller is REALLY scaring me. Scaring me to the point that I check out all the strange people surrounding me, just to see if they are my mysterious, icky prank texter. To the point that I do not want to go to the office anymore for fear that he might be lurking around in our compound.

The thing that bothers me the most is that this person probably looks normal from the outside. Hindi naman siguro sa mental institution napunta ang cellphone number ko no. This person probably wakes up in the morning and goes to work, talks to people, has his own circle of friends and functions as any normal person does, which is why people I know talk to him and tell him things about me. Nobody knows about this sick side of him, the second personality that's so grossly demented and rotten and sick. I can't think of anything more negative to say about him, as this month's positivism must have really worked wonders on me.

And how am I responding to his threats and lewdness? By keeping silent. With the way things are going though, I am so tempted to text back and tell him what's on my mind. But that is probably what he expects me to do. So I will not text him back. But aaaaaargh! I just wish there is something I can do... something that will bother him even more than he has bothered me.

Blogging bits

2005-06-17T23:06:00.000+08:00

Half the month is almost over. How am I doing with my June goals so far?

1. I will stop being negative and just try to see the positive side of things. For this month anyway.
--See? No negative posts this month.

2. Because of #1, I will stop taking the news seriously.
-- I read the headlines, scan the articles, read Conrado de Quiros' column, then go directly to the lifestyle section. So I am barely aware of whatever new drama the government has concocted.

3. I will work out 20x this month. (Already worked out twice, woohoo! Eighteen more to go!)
-- Worked out 3x this month. Which means, I need to work out 2x/day for 3 days to reach my goal. Harharharhar. Besides, I have a good reason why I didn't work out. Sira ang treadmill eh. :)

4. I will practice my cooking and baking more.
-- Yup!! I did this!! I think I baked and cooked more this month than the past five months combined.

5. I will have my haircut, which I have delayed for three weeks now.
-- Yup! New haircut, but nobody seems to notice.

6. I will try to sleep earlier than 2 a.m.
-- Hmmm.... 1am is still earlier than 2am. Seriously, I think I should have written it as "be in bed by 12am."

7. I will finally follow my doctor's advice and take iron supplements everyday.
-- Err, no. Tsk.

8. We will TRY to book the major wedding suppliers -- photographer/ videographer, couturier and florist.
-- Booked photographer/videographer already.

9. I will eat more fruits.
-- Ate (err.. drank) a pear and an apple this month. That should count for something, right? Oh, oh.. ate frozen jackfruit too. That's how we do it here. We freeze the langka, and it's a great summer treat!

10. I will try to not procrastinate.
-- Yay! So proud of myself for this!! Thanks SE P910!

*****

Am I on my way to domestication or what? For several days now, I have been singing (silently thank God) Michael V's J-O-Y jingle. And I can't, for the life of me, get it out of my head! I'm sure na if hindi lang ako takot sa sarili kong kabaduyan, I would probably dance the J-O-Y song in the confines of my own bedroom. Hehehehe... takot ka na Mike?

*****

I just realized that this coming father's day will be the last one I will spend here at home. :( Nearly cried when I realized it. I will be spending mother's day with my family next year, but not father's day. And to think I'm a daddy's girl.

*****

It's funny how talks of weddings can bring women together. I went to the bank yesterday, and what started out as an innocent hey-who-did-your-gown question quickly turned into a wedding gabfest. By the time I left, I had a group of women circled around me, all excitedly giving me tips on what to do and where to go to get the best deals for the wedding.

Which left me wondering -- if these women, who were almost strangers to me, felt this excited about my wedding, then what more my own mother?

My mom and I have never been close. (Buti na lang my mom is so not internet savvy.) And this fact has never been more obvious now, in the midst of the wedding and engagement preparations. I know she's excited about the upcoming wedding. She has her own ideas, I have my own, and more often than not, we clash. She suggests, I reject. Sometimes, I think I unintentionally disagree with her just so I can disagree with her, and vice versa. And I really don't know how to involve her in the preparations, when i don't agree with most of her ideas. How do I tell her, "Ma, di ko gusto yan" without hurting her feelings? Maybe this would be a good time to practice seeing only the positive side of things?

A Tale of Two Wedding Photographers

2005-06-14T23:23:00.000+08:00

Wedding photographer one, to be known as WPO, came highly recommended by my bestfriend. I browsed through her wedding album, and both Mike and I were impressed with how vivid the colors in the album were. So we visited his shop one fine Tuesday in May, and we came out satisfied naman. Went through some of the albums in his shop and some were good, some so-so. But generally, most were really beautiful. WPO gave is a good package, but we wanted (more like I wanted) to look around some more before finally confirming with one photographer.

So we checked out websites of other wedding photographers who were highly recommended in W@W forums. I would stay up late most nights, looking at the packages of other photographers, but none came close to beating WPO's package. We visited bridal fairs, but really, almost all the packages we saw were higher than WPO's package. We couldn't believe it -- WPO had a good reputation and a good package to boot!!! We were almost sure that we were going to book him.

Until we talked with wedding photographer two, hereby known as WPT.

WPT's works were comparable with that of WPO's, although his rates were higher. He was able to establish a connection with us minutes after we met him. He was kalog, easy to talk to, and open about sharing information about other wedding suppliers which he felt would be of use to us.

"I want him!" I told Mike the minute we stepped out of WPT's shop. First time I told Mike that I want another man... hehehehe. "Let's book him now! What are we waiting for?"

But wait!! What about WPO? The highly recommended fotog with the lowest package ever?

We sat down and compared the two packages. If we remove some items that we could do without, WPT's package would come out cheaper than WPO's!!! Yay!!

But what items can we do without?

The mini albums -- it would be nice to give something to both sets of parents, so that stays.

The pre-nuptial pics -- eh nasa package na so sayang naman kung tatanggalin. Diba Mike? Diba diba?

Those were the only two items we considered removing, but ended up not removing na din.

So we deviced a plan. We will get WPO only if he promises to personally take our picture. If he assigns us to someone else, then we'll get WPT.

We went back to WPO's shop. I was actually praying that he assign us to someone else, so that we'll have a good reason to not get his services anymore. At this point, I was still sold on the idea of WPT as our wedding photographer. The moment we sat down, the lights went off. Brownout. Tsk tsk. Not a good sign. Anyways, we start off by asking him point blank to be our photogrpaher.

WPO: (shakes his head)
US: Pero ang feedback sa labas is dapat kayooooo.....
WPO: (shakes his head again) Ang pwede kong gawin, I can officiate sa wedding niyo... (BUT WE ALREADY HAVE A PRIEST TO DO THAT FOR US!) but I won't be your official photographer.

By this time, Mike and I were sneaking glances at each other. Okaaaay.. is it bye-bye time already?

WPO: We cover 700++ weddings a year.....
(Whoa)
WPO: So sanay na sanay na diyan ang mga tao namin.
(Ows?)
ME: Okay, if hindi kayo ang magpipicture, sino a-assign niyo sa amin?
WPO: Kung sino man ang photographer niyo, huwag na niyo problemahin iyon.

What?!? Mike's shelling out a good percentage of his life savings for pictures ha, so we better know who will be taking our picture no!

But WPO was not revealing anything. Mike and I exchanged looks that said okay-on-to-plan-B-aka-WPT.

And then suddenly,

WPO: O sige, pwede naman akong i reserve eh. Depende sa inyo kelan nyo ako gustong nandoon -- preparations, church or reception.
We remained silent. And poker faced.

WPO: Sige, pwede ako sa preparation and church. Tawad na yon for you.

At this point, okay na si Mike with him. But I was still unconvinced. I just felt disappointed that WPO had this ma-ere aura with him, while WPT was so friendly and open. I'm still hooked on WPT.

WPO goes on and on about the importance of the couple in creating the perfect wedding album. I was barely listening to him, all I could think of was how hot it was inside his shop since brownout nga. Then suddenly, WPO drops the bomb:

WPO: If you sign up now, I'll throw in another mini album, and give you a 10% discount pa.

Whoa!! Again again again..

WPO: Plus if you get my services for your engagement, I'll even throw in an extra album, no layouts though.

We were both so surprised that we couldn't do the math, so WPO wrote it down on paper for us. And there it was -- P8,000 lower than our original budget.

WPT who? :)

So now we have a wedding photographer!!!! Yay!! One item to cross off our wedding suppliers list!

Positive thoughts...

2005-06-11T00:25:00.000+08:00

I'd hate to ruin my track record of a rantless blog post for this June (except June 1).

So I will look only at the positive side of this whole Gloriaetta-telenovela.

I think GMA will make a wonderful actress. It must be difficult, denying all the allegations even with the evidence out in the open for everybody to see, hear and download. And still, she maintains her innocence by facing the public and denying everything. Without flinching under all that pressure. That's very hard to do. Only a seasoned actress can do that.

Ignacio Bunye will make a great comedian. In the middle of all this brouhaha, he manages to find the humor by pulling out his letter of REimbursement.

Mikey Arroyo is already an actor. With his quick wits and his way with words, he will make a great script writer too. Lion King to Liar King? Bilis niya naisip yung comeback na yon ah! Dba ang galing?

Come to think of it, majority of the people running the government all have promising careers in show business. We have a good actress (GMA), a good comedian (Bunye), a good script writer (Lion King), a good antagonist (opposition block), good supporting actors and actresses (Gonzales, Wycoco etc.) -- the story of the Philippines would make a great telenovela. Award winning talaga.

O ayan. Wonderful, great, galing, good -- I have used only positive adjectives for this post. Very positive pa rin ako about life. I'm not ranty anymore. Dba Rory? :)

Nostalgic

2005-06-07T18:13:00.000+08:00

Got caught in the after school traffic in ICA-Xavier area a while ago. I stared outside the car window and looked at the students passing us by. Couldn't help but feel nostalgic about high school. That was ten years ago. Was never really obsessed with topping the class and getting good grades. Back then, my major issues in life were:

1. To be in the same class with my bestfriends.
2. To be in the same class with my crush(es).
3. To have the cutest school supplies (cutest notebooks, cutest bags etc.)
4. To not miss a deadline for submission of anything.
5. To avoid being the topic of gossip for whatever reasons.

Life was really so simple back then. Topics of conversations with friends revolved around what course to take in college, the latest couples hooking up / breaking up, who the cutest guys, girls and couples in school were, which teacher we liked and disliked.... aaaah, those were really the days. Dresses for the prom, courses to take in college, dreams and ambitions in life -- those were the major choices we had to make.

During my highschool days though, I couldn't wait to go to college. And when I stepped into college, I couldn't wait to start working. I couldn't wait to start slaving my ass off for the corporate world, wear my corporate attires, and project my corporate self.

And now that I'm working for our family business, I couldn't help but wish I am back in school, worrying about crushes and prom dresses again. Sigh. I'm really, REALLY old.

I really miss those happy, carefree days. It's the lack of responsibility that I miss the most. Back then, if I made a terrible mistake, it would probably affect only myself. But working for our family business is a different matter altogether. There's my dad, who, I know, expects a lot from the business. There are the employees relying on the company for their monthly household expenses. I'm not only answerable to myself, I'm answerable to everybody in the company. That's what I feel most of the time.

I wish I made more mistakes back in highschool. Yup, that's right -- more mistakes. I was so scared to fail that I ended up not trying anything at all. I remember how much I wanted to join our school's newspapers, if only because I wanted to live Elizabeth Wakefield's lifestyle. (Sweet Valley High's avid readers would know what I'm talking about) But I didn't join because I didn't want people criticizing my articles. I wanted to join our choir too. As an organist, if there is such a word (meron ba?). I auditioned for the position, even though I couldn't read the notes. I knew the chords but couldn't read notes. So I played it by ear. And ended up making some mistakes. The choir's head teacher was surprised to learn that I couldn't read the notes. I thought she was ridiculing me. That ended my dreams of being a part of the choir.

Three years from now, when I look back to where I am right now, I don't want to still be typing my wishes and regrets for this year. I want to be able to look back and say, "Did I really do that?" or "Yay! I really did it!"

**Note: Lame as it may seem, the Bohol trip is one of those yay-I-did-it moments for me. :D I've always wanted to travel with friends. That was my first time, on a plane, with friends.**end of note

This year, I really, really, really want to:

Start my food biz with Liza
The eternal pessimist that I am, I have readied myself for the fact that yes, our biz might fail. But I just want to try it and see.

Travel out of the country with friends
Having my parents voluntarily sponsor me for this wish would mean so much to me. Now, all I have to do is teach my parents to bloghop, and voila! Accidentally come across my blog.

Bake like I've never baked before. Cook like no one's going to eat it.
Well, you get the point. At least, I hope you do.

Make a really big contribution to humanity.
Now this is difficult. First, I don't have any idea what it is exactly that I want to do. I don't think giving alms is a contribution to humanity. Years ago, Val and I had this wonderful idea of how to do it. We never got around to going ahead with it though. Second, I think "a really big contribution to humanity" would take more than six months to prepare. Unless, I have a big stash of cold cash hidden somewhere which I can just donate easily ASAP. But I don't.

Help PAWS reduce incidence of animal cruelty."
This is something I feel strongly about. Animals are helpless against humans. They don't have the equipment to fight back. They don't have agencies to report cruel treatments against them. We do.

Learn the art of small talk.
Very important. Solves a lot of things.

Funny

2005-06-06T18:04:00.000+08:00

My brother told me this story about his friend. Friend asks their maid what's for lunch. Their conversation goes:

Friend: Manang, anong ulam?
Manang: Stupid shrimps
Friend: Stupid shrimps? Bakit? Anong ginawa ng shrimps sayo?
Manang: Hindi, stupid shrimps! Yung hipon na may laman sa loob.
Friend: Ah!! Stuffed shrimps!

Laughed my head off after hearing this one. :)

June goals

2005-06-05T23:57:00.000+08:00

1. I will stop being negative and just try to see the positive side of things. For this month anyway.
2. Because of #1, I will stop taking the news seriously.
3. I will work out 20x this month. (Already worked out twice, woohoo! Eighteen more to go!)
4. I will practice my cooking and baking more.
5. I will have my haircut, which I have delayed for three weeks now.
6. I will try to sleep earlier than 2 a.m.
7. I will finally follow my doctor's advice and take iron supplements everyday.
8. We will TRY to book the major wedding suppliers -- photographer/ videographer, couturier and florist.
9. I will eat more fruits.
10. I will try to not procrastinate.

Hmm... the way I see it, numbers 1,3,6 and 10 will be the hardest goals.

Wish me luck. :)